Do you really need 28 tips on prayer?

One of the most absurd expectations for church members over the decades was the concept of spending one hour every single day on your knees in prayer. While the benefits of prayer have been established as beneficial for a person by all kinds of studies, it was the near command that church members spend one hour every day that was absurd. Pretty soon, as a reader here noted the other day, a person starts repeating themselves over and over. It's nothing new after a few days and usually ends up as petitions for God to step in and fix problems for the person or endless prayers for the so-called work that some splinter groups claim they are doing.

The Great Bwana to Africa has set out a list of 28 expectations he believes his followers need to be doing.

28 Tips on Prayer 

People talk a lot about prayer.  So? Christians through the centuries have found it beneficial to their mental health and well being, just as those in Armstrongism claim to.

 

Many pray in public.  Yeah, and so what? Prayer in communal public worship is just as edifying as prayer in a closet or sitting on a rock in the woods. A person praying on a street corner makes most Armstrongites and the public uncomfortable. Yet, for that one individual who may find meaning and the need for prayer that day it may have life changing affects on the person. Armstrongite manipulators of scripture love to twist this and accuse Christians of doing it wrong, when in actuality the COG has been doing it wrong for decades!

 

Does God listen? This is a loaded question when an Armstrongite says it. They want want church members to believe that God only listens to them. Its not cool when a Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist or God forbid a so-called Christian offers up a heartfelt prayer since God supposedly only listens to  COG prayers. God supposedly does not hear these "unconverted people". Anyone who has ever interacted one on one with people of other faiths can realize they can make as many bold claims about answered prayers as Armstrongites can and many times offer better proof than a COG member can.

 

What does the Bible teach about prayer? There are five basic types of prayer in the Bible that have meaning for people, whether done corporately as a church or individually. These simple types of prayer are: intercession, petition, penitence, adoration, and thanksgivings. 

 

Can what you do or do not wear be a factor? This is absolute useless bullshit to believe that God only hears your prayer when you are dressed in a suit or dress. God forbid if you were in a pair of swim trunks at the beach and gave a short prayer of thanks for a glorious day and for the beautiful creation you are surrounded by. God apparently plugs his ears in those circumstances. Besides that, what about the thief on the cross next to Jesus who was covered in blood, oozing wounds, wrapped in a dirty loin cloth or even naked, covered in piss and shit as his body reacts to multiple blows. Does Gods ignore him? Jesus sure didn't. "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”  Luke 23:39-43"

 

How can your prayers be more effective? 

 

Why doesn’t God seem to answer all prayers? 

  

How should you deal with the difficult? 

 

How should you deal with ‘the impossible’? 

 

Here is a listing of the 28 tips that Dr. Thiel goes over in this sermon: 

 

1. Pray to God the Father or Jesus as the thief did or even to the Holy Spirit for guidance.

  

2. Worship God in Truth  Which truth? Thielism? Armstrongism? Flurryism?

 

3. Believe God 

 

4. Obey God: Do More than the Demons In Armstrongism far too many act more like demons than they do as followers of Christ.

 

5. Worship God in Spirit All prayers from humans come from the heart, are sincere and/or are motivated by love for God and all that he has done. This is a weapon COG leader use to keep people scared that they aren't praying to God right.

 

6. Resist Satan  Unless one is praying deliberately to Satan then prayers ascending from God followers are resisting Satan. COG members need to stop fearing Satan and the power COG leaders have given him over members lives.

 

7. Don’t Fight God 

 

8. Pray for Others 

 

9. Pray for Your Needs 

 

10. Remember God’s Will and Have Your Priorities in Order 

 

11. Praying Positions from the Bible  Sitting, kneeling, standing, running, laying on your back in bed or under the stars...the positions are endless. Don't swallow the claptrap of so-called COG leaders.

 

12. Pray Every Day While this may be the desired amount, most never do it. Don't beat yourself up if it's every other day or maybe weeks at a time. Sometimes people just need to step back from all the rigamarole COG leaders have placed upon them and recenter themselves.

 

13. Forgiveness 

 

14. Recognize God’s Spirit 

 

15. Pray for What the Bible Says to Pray For 

 

16. Ask for Spiritual Gifts 

 

17. Don’t Pray for Show  Tell this to any any man standing in services for the opening and closing prayer. Far too many times these tend to be a slobberfest of adoration for the preacher.

 

18. Obey the New Testament About Head Coverings This is more claptrap that Armstrongites love to say is required. If it works for you then great, but certainly is NOT a requirement. If you say it is then you cannot sit there in condemnation for those in certain Christian churches, Islam, Amish, and other faiths who use head coverings.

 

19. Ask Often, Do Not Use Vain Repetitions, But Be Fervent 

 

20. If You Are Suffering or Sick, Pray About It 

 

21. Pray for Church Leaders 

 

 

22. Pray for Secular Leaders 

 

23. Put Jesus in Your Prayers 

 

24. The Difficult: Remember Fasting  While fasting may be beneficial to some it is not and never was a New Covenant command.

 

25. Pray With Thanksgiving 

 

26. Deal With ‘Secret Sins’ 

 

27. Change Can Make the Impossible, Possible 

 

28. Close with Amen.

Sometimes the most effective prayer a person can utter is just one simple word, Thanks!,  Wow!, or WTF!

Some of the best prayers a person can utter are when they are angry with God, pissed off, or in utter despair. Saying WTF God? is a far more genuine utterance that is heard by God than all the platitudes that so many COG men click off from the checklist in church prayers or even from Bob's silly list above.

Prayer should always be what is right for you and never what some so-called self-appointed church leader says you should be doing. Sitting on the porch with a cup of coffee in hand and praying will be far more beneficial than being locked in some prayer closet, on your knees for a strict one hour, and with a written list of prayers in front of you.

Holy God, your knowledge of me exceeds what I grasp or see in any moment; you know me better than I know myself. Now, help me to trust in your mercy, to see myself in the light of your holiness, and grant me the grace that I may have true contrition, make an honest confession, and find in you forgiveness and perfect remission. Amen.

O Lord support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen and the evening come, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, in thy mercy, grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last. Amen 

As Long as We're at It....Dave the Wonder Worker

 

How much ignorance about basic science and simple reading comprehension can Dave pack into about a minute and a half?

 

Listen and weep laugh at the sheer ignorance.

Courtesy of COG Critic

"The trees may be blooming in Wadsworth on this Sabbath morning, but The Restored Church of God is not."

 

What Now?

 

Pastor General David C. Pack experienced another bitter lesson on Wednesday. Making noises with your mouth does not equate to fulfilling Bible prophecy.

 

Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God did not arrive on April 12 at 12:05 PM ET. The trees may be blooming in Wadsworth on this Sabbath morning, but The Restored Church of God is not.

 

To the casual observer, this latest embarrassment could be viewed as just another Dave Pack failure. But this was much bigger than that. What crumbled as the sun set on Wednesday was months of toil pointing to an Abib fulfillment. April 1, 5, and 7 were expendable. Those were only manifestations of Dave’s god getting elbow room for the main event: Abib 21, the Seventh Day of Unleavened Bread.

 

Abib 1 became the focus after a botched Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year’s “in the midst of the years” debacle starting in Part 414 on January 14, 2023. It later moved to Iyar 1, but then settled to Abib 21. Abib has been the cornerstone of Dave’s musings for months.

 

After Wednesday’s failure, members of The Restored Church of God must throw out a lot of “knowledge.” Think of this as a Mount Everest of undeniable facts. Enjoy chewing on this Stone-Cold Math.

 

21 Parts across 88 days. 33 hours and 47 minutes.

All wasted effort as of April 12 @ 12:05 PM ET

 

Those who appropriately ignored Dave’s messages will not need their prophetic framework to be deprogrammed. Those who aptly refused to take notes need not worry about purging those pages from their journal.

 

The only sounds heard from Headquarters for the past 3 ½ days are the crickets. Insects have more wisdom than David C. Pack. They are not so filled with pompous vanity that they think if they rub their legs together a few days in a row, that will make prophecy in Habakkuk 2:3 and Revelation 10:7 happen.

 

The silence coming from RCG is because David C. Pack has to start from scratch. His Hail Mary of relocating the Last Great Day to the Days of Unleavened Bread to make the First Kingdom one year fumbled in the endzone. Never give Dave the ball.

 

 

The seventh “days of Dave’s voice” was posted on Tuesday before his personal nightmare began. Nothing as of yet has followed after this, so this stands as the last communiqué of Pastor General David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God.

 

Prophecy Update #4 – Tuesday, April 11, 2023

 

Greetings brethren! If you have not heard Part 434 given yesterday, listen as soon as possible before reading this announcement!

 

A big understanding has come clear. The picture is better than we believed. Not only will all saints be here, but the presence of 100B+ people at the Kingdom of God demands a New Heavens and New Earth! This finally became obvious. In fact, logistics alone require something “new,” but that is far from the only proof. Here are a few points to consider:

 

• No one could assert, “all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation” in II Pet. 3:4 during Christ’s Kingdom. Just think of the complete overhaul of society, infrastructure and the instantaneous population increase! The New Heavens and New Earth come as a thief in the night, catching these scoffers completely by surprise. They could not be scoffing about the Kingdom of God from within it. (But it does present a question as to what triggered such scoffing before the Kingdom of God.) Verses 15-16 shows Paul also spoke about this day in all his epistles.

 

• Heb. 1:10-2:5 is a perfect example. Paul described the heavens folding up as a garment in context of escaping! Also think of I Thes. 1:10, 2:19, 3:13 and 5:23 just in this one.

 

• Luke 21:33-36 further confirms this! “That day” when the New Heavens and New Earth arrive (these two terms are tied all three times in the Olivet prophecy) is referred to as coming like a “snare” when many stand before Christ and escape. (Of course many, many more points could be included.)

 

• If all complete saints are here—including Moses, Elijah, Daniel, Samuel, David and so many others—key administrative roles can be much more easily filled.

 

The arrival of one year for the first mustard seed measure of the Kingdom of God has forced a renaissance of thinking in ways that continue to be wonderful. But another lingering question is whether the Kingdom of God could arrive without an announcement, and is there “something” before it is here?—some kind of “swift witness” (Mal. 3:5) or “short (speedy, concise) word” (Rom. 9:28) by Elijah first? A yet further question is exactly how do the last go first? I believe I know the answer to these questions, but I don’t wish to say more until I am certain of what it would be. I do know enough to say this: Do not be surprised if nothing happens tonight. I may or may not give a brief message tomorrow.

 

In the meantime, be prepared to guard the rest of Abib.

 

David C. Pack

 

 

(* Jim and Andy, please invest in Grammarly. It hates your postings.)

 

Dave always has his verbal architects draw him a trapdoor for a quick escape, no matter how wildly he waves his arms. The "guard Abib" comment is a way of dragging out the expectations of the brethren for one more week without having to create new content.

 

The end of Abib/Nisan and the beginning of Iyar is at sunset on Friday, April 21, at 8:12 PM ET. Even though Dave already walked away from this, if I were his lawyer, I would argue that his Death Wish Self-Curse does not officially begin until then, so anything before then would be premature.

 

Part 423 – February 25, 2023

@ 29:41 So, I wanna state one last time, unequivocally, and I’ll just absolutely die on this ground. This is the hill I die on. It is impossible that Abib does not close with the Day of the Lord. Impossible. It’s unbiblical.

 

A lot was riding on Abib 21.

 

Part 426 – March 4, 2023

@ 42:23 I know that the way has been prepared, and we all understand, and if we had to wait ten years, or until I died, no one will ever tell me we don’t have this exactly right.

 

Tempting God is a warning for us little people and Jesus Christ, but not for Some Great One David Passed Over. And you thought Daredevil was the man without fear.

 

“The picture is better than we believed.”

 

It is always better after he is done talking and after nothing happens.

 

If Dave speaks today, that will be part of the spin. There is one week remaining in Abib. RCG is still on track and on time. All is well. In fact, the picture is more perfect, the math fits better, and the Super Metrics are even more super duper.

 

Initiate a solitary slow clap if Dave has an entire message prepared.

 

The indicator of how at a loss Dave is will be determined when he sends Meat Puppet or Meat Shield to the lectern to stammer their way through Stupid Comments to pacify the pitchfork holders. The next rank of disaster would be if Bradford Schleifer had to say something. If that happens, look for emergency exits because the third floor is on fire.

 

The Green Envelope numbers should have rolled in from the field, determining how "blessed" the brethren felt during the Days of Unleavened Bread. Dave was spotted pacing the front gate this week, waiting for FedEx to drop off the overnight envelopes.

 

If someone in CAD or BAO wants to “accidentally” forward me the offering numbers, your anonymity will be assured. Even a percentage compared to last year would be extremely helpful. Also, please Whoopsie Daisy the current attendance numbers while you are at it because people keep asking me.

 

 

“The Greatest Untold Story!” Series is private interpretation run amok. The unbridled hubris of David C. Pack fuels the lie that he is an apostle prophesying the Mystery of God. Wednesday proved his god had forsaken him, leaving him to drown in the sea of his own delusion.

 

As far as I can see, it appears to be that what is impossibly inarguable is almost certainly probable, if not likely, as I have suspicioned for years, and the men around me all agree.

 

So, what now?

 

Until that first person stands up in the Main Hall and walks out while he is speaking, things will continue in The Restored Church of God as they have. If the hirelings continue to enable, and the brethren continue to attend, and the money keeps rolling in…why stop? The prophecy machine is purring like a kitten.

 

Apostolic Narcissist King David Passed Over has a learning disability further complicated by a host of mental illnesses. It means he will not learn his lesson but is doomed to repeat this into the vanishing point. And the brethren agree to be taken on the ride.

 

This is just how things are in The Restored Church of God.

Marc Cebrian

See: What Now?