God Slipped Up And Let His Prophet Lose His Passport

Oh, what a beautiful sunny day in COG-land! The insanity is shining brighter than ever.

Our brave little COG warrior, Samuel Kitchen, is now gloriously stranded in Napoli, Italy, because — surprise, surprise — God must have been too busy enjoying His delicious pizza and latte to stop Samuel from leaving both his passport and driver’s license in a taxi. How tragic.

But don’t worry, it’s all part of the divine plan, obviously. After all, Samuel was originally planning to visit the Vatican and other satanic hotspots, and we simply can’t have that. The Big Guy upstairs just couldn’t allow His faithful servant to wander into the devil’s playground like some common tourist.

You’ve got to watch the video. It’s a masterpiece. There he is, stuck in Napoli, sharing his woes, as Easter processions with those delightfully terrible marching bands play in the background, while he bitterly complains about all the amazing pizza parlors he can’t touch because of his sacred Unleavened Bread. Plus, he describes how he had to rent a bike and travel a long distance (apparently in his suit) to the US Embassy to replace his passport, only to find it closed for Easter. The suffering is just unbearable.

Honestly, there isn’t a single coherent thought in the entire rant — it’s pure verbal diarrhea. Whatever half-baked nonsense floats through his brain at any given second, it immediately comes tumbling out of his mouth.

Clearly, Samuel and Bob Thiel both graduated from the Zerubabel School for Prophets at the same time… apparently during one of their off-season years.

The Eternal Quagmire: How Herbert Armstrong's Pompous Legacy Spawned a DSM-5-TR Hall of Fame

Who could have ever imagined that a church group founded by the self-important narcissist Herbert W. Armstrong would devolve into today's glorious quagmire of mentally ill men desperately running splinter groups? The current leaders of the various Churches of God aren't just a handful of quaint eccentrics with quirky doctrines—they're walking, talking case studies straight out of the latest DSM-5-TR. Names like Gerald Flurry, Dave Pack, Bob Thiel, Alton Billingsley, Ron Weinland, and Wade Cox come to mind as they boldly extrapolate their rage-filled theological fantasies as if they were divine truth. These are merely the loudest ones. Plenty of others lurk in the shadows, equally unhinged, though thankfully their followings remain too small to warrant much attention. 

Enter Samuel Kitchen, the one-man army tirelessly marching in defense of his hero, HWA. Some readers get rather testy and wonder why anyone bothers giving these raving lunatics any airtime. The answer is simple: these characters are the current face of Armstrongism.

Case in point: Samuel Kitchen is currently galavanting around Italy after Satan himself thwarted his grand desire to be in Jordan for the Days of Unleavened Bread. In classic Armstrongist fashion, Satan emerges as the most powerful entity in their theology—capable of derailing God's plans, blocking the return of Jesus, and generally making a nuisance of himself on a cosmic scale.

Undeterred by this satanic travel disruption, Kitchen has been busy revealing even more profound insights. He now claims a direct lineage back to Joseph of Arimathea, the great-uncle of Jesus Christ on His mother's side. Apparently this ancient bloodline (combined with the Hebrew origins of the "Kitchen" family name) makes him special and sets him apart for some magnificent work that no one else can accomplish—work that will most certainly not be revived by him.

In his own words (lightly edited for clarity while preserving the spirit):

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:14-16: ‘Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.’

So we see in Zechariah 4 a candlestick, and in Zechariah 5 a bushel, or basket. Remember, in Zechariah 1, the spirit of Satan and his demons made it possible that no man may lift up his head! That is, to place the light under a basket!

Those doing the work of God stood up and let their light shine before men, and lifted up Jesus Christ by placing the light on a candlestick! The Worldwide Church of God! It is to glorify God! That is why I made mention of purchasing the Ambassador Auditorium—to glorify God! To place our light on the candlestick, not under a basket!

Now remember, Satan is wicked. And Satan is cast out (Zechariah 3:2), just as those four horns are frayed and cast out (Zechariah 1:21), just as Satan is cast out of heaven (Rev. 12:9). This ephah in Zechariah 5 has wickedness cast into it! Now remember the ephah is the worldwide curse! So Satan or wickedness is cast forth into the world. And Babylon rises up!

Those of the Church who are cast out are cast out to the outer court of the Temple, to be trampled by the gentile government of Satan during the tribulation! That is the woman in the ephah—those who decided to put the light of Christ under a bushel! Into some other group! Or into their own household.

So Zechariah 5 is describing the destruction of these COG groups and their implication with helping Babylon, and the preserving of God’s Philadelphia elect, who place their light on the Philadelphia candlesticks—which is the Worldwide Church of God—rather than stifle God’s Holy Spirit by joining one of these groups who have falsely sworn by His name and who have stolen from the House of God...

Why am I in Rome? I have been sent to the nations who have spoiled this Church! And I am the only one declaring to the COG groups to REPENT AND COME OUT OF HER, and to be the Worldwide Church of God! Jesus Christ is restoring the Worldwide Church of God! Behold the Branch! Behold the Chief Cornerstone, Jesus Christ!

Kitchen further identifies himself with the biblical figure Sheshbazzar (whom he equates with Zerubbabel), the man tasked with returning the temple vessels and laying the foundation of God's house. He ties this neatly to his own supposed descent from Joseph of Arimathea and positions himself as the modern-day restorer:

Who is this Sheshbazzar? ... So Zerubbabel is Sheshbazzar! ... 

The ‘Kitchen’ family name is actually Hebrew. I can trace my lineage back to Joseph of Arimathea, who is the great uncle of Jesus Christ on His mother’s side. The house of HEN.

Like every good Church of God false leader before him, Kitchen wastes no time setting himself up as the latest Zerubbabel. Never has a religious movement had so many self-appointed Zerubbabels running around. Who needs just one when you can have hundreds? Clearly God is powerless without this endless parade of divinely appointed dupes.

But the revelations don't stop there. Kitchen has also been divinely commissioned to witness against the Great Whore of Babylon—the very entity he claims had Herbert W. Armstrong murdered to clear the way for the "man of sin." From his perch in Italy, the "land of the north" where the Daughter of Babylon (Rome) resides, he declares:

So now I am in Italy... The Daughter of Babylon is up in Rome. And God has sent me to this nation. Notice Zechariah 2:8-9: ‘For thus saith the Lord of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you...’ This is the entire prophecy of Revelation against Mystery Babylon the Great! Who touched the saints of God? Who is drunken with the blood of the saints? Where did Paul die?

God is saying this nation spoiled the Church. Scattered them, so that our HEAD could not be lifted up and therefore surpass their vicar! That’s why Herbert W. Armstrong died! To get him out of the way so the man of Sin could stand up! But we are standing up lifting up our Head, the Chief Cornerstone, Jesus Christ...

In the grand theater of Armstrongism, Samuel Kitchen’s Italian adventure stands as a masterpiece of delusional grandeur: a self-proclaimed descendant of Jesus’ great-uncle, battling an omnipotent Satan in Rome, while single-handedly restoring the “true” Worldwide Church of God that nobody else seems to want. One can only marvel at the sheer audacity—claiming royal Hebrew blood, accusing the Catholic Church of assassinating HWA, and positioning himself as the lone voice crying “come out of her” while wandering around Europe like a budget-rate Zerubbabel on a divine sightseeing tour.

The brutal truth is this: if this is what “God’s restored work” looks like in 2026, then Herbert Armstrong didn’t just build a church—he accidentally invented the world’s most efficient lunatic factory. Congratulations, gentlemen. You’ve taken one aging narcissist’s vanity project and turned it into a clown car stuffed with dozens of competing Zerubbabels, each more unhinged than the last. The light they claim to shine so brightly doesn’t illuminate God’s truth; it merely exposes how thoroughly the whole pathetic enterprise has rotted from the head down. Keep marching, Samuel. Somewhere out there, Satan is still laughing.

Good Friday, Bob Thiel's Attacks and the Profound Significance of the Day

Bob Thiel, leader of the improperly named "Continuing" Church of God, a self appointed/non-ordained upstart loves to mock the traditional observance by calling the Friday-to-Sunday timeline unbiblical “twisted mathematics” that fails to deliver a literal “three days and three nights” in the tomb (Matthew 12:40). He argues Jesus was crucified on a Wednesday (the Preparation Day before an annual “high day” Sabbath), buried before sunset Wednesday, and resurrected late Saturday afternoon—exactly 72 hours later—to fulfill the “sign of Jonah.” He dismisses Good Friday as a man-made tradition influenced by Roman compromise and pagan elements, claiming it makes “the word of God of none effect” (Mark 7:13) and denies the only public proof of Jesus’ messiahship.

Why Bob Thiel Is Wrong

Thiel’s position, while sincere and shared by some in certain Church of God groups, rests on a rigid, overly literal reading of “three days and three nights” that ignores ancient Jewish idiomatic usage of time. In biblical and Jewish culture, any part of a day was frequently counted as a full “day and night.” Examples abound:

• Esther 4:16 and 5:1 — Esther fasts “three days, night or day,” yet appears on the third day.
• Genesis 42:17-18 — Joseph imprisons his brothers for “three days,” then speaks to them “on the third day.”
• 1 Samuel 30:12-13 — An Egyptian servant is described as having gone “three days and three nights” without food or water, yet the timeline fits partial days.

Jesus Himself used inclusive reckoning when speaking of rising “on the third day” (Matthew 16:21; 17:23; 20:19; Luke 9:22; 24:7, 46), a phrase repeated throughout the Gospels and fulfilled in the traditional timeline. From late Friday afternoon burial to early Sunday morning resurrection spans parts of three days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) and aligns with “the third day” language used by the angels, Jesus, and the disciples (Luke 24:21, 46).

The Gospels explicitly place the crucifixion on the “day of Preparation” before the weekly Sabbath (Mark 15:42; Luke 23:54; John 19:31, 42). John 19:31 notes it was also before a “high day” (the first day of Unleavened Bread), but this does not require two separate Sabbaths forcing a Wednesday death; the weekly Sabbath itself could be called “high” in context, and the women prepared spices after the crucifixion day but rested on the weekly Sabbath (Luke 23:56). Early Christian writers (e.g., Justin Martyr, Tertullian) and the consistent witness of the Church from the second century onward affirm a Friday crucifixion and Sunday resurrection. Claims of a Wednesday death rely on selective later sources (like the Didascalia Apostolorum) and calendar reconstructions that are debated even among scholars.

Moreover, Thiel’s broader critique—that Good Friday/Easter is pagan-tainted and that true Christians should keep only the biblical Passover/Holy Days—overlooks how the early Church, guided by the apostles and the Holy Spirit, developed its liturgical calendar to proclaim the fulfillment of those shadows in Christ (Colossians 2:16-17). The profound events of the Passion transcend a single calendar debate. Insisting on a Wednesday crucifixion risks missing the forest for the trees: the cross is not primarily about chronological precision but about God’s redemptive love.

The name “Good Friday” endures not because of perfect 72-hour math, but because of the goodness accomplished there.

The Deep and Profound Significance of Good Friday

Today, April 3, 2026, Christians around the world observe Good Friday—the solemn heart of Holy Week and the day that commemorates the crucifixion and death of Jesus Christ. At first glance, it seems an odd name for the darkest moment in the Christian story: a day of betrayal, torture, public execution, and apparent defeat. Yet the name “Good Friday” carries layers of meaning that reveal the event’s extraordinary depth. Far from a simple anniversary of suffering, Good Friday stands as one of the most profound turning points in human history according to Christian belief—a day when divine love confronted human brokenness and, through sacrifice, opened the door to redemption.

Why “Good” Friday?

The word “good” here does not mean pleasant or happy in the modern sense. Linguists trace it to an older English usage where “good” meant “holy” or “pious,” much like “the Good Book” for the Bible. Some traditions once called it “God’s Friday.” In German it is Karfreitag (“Sorrowful Friday”), and in many languages it is simply “Holy Friday.” The English name endures because Christians see profound goodness in what happened: the ultimate act of self-giving love that accomplished something eternally beneficial for humanity. As one theologian has noted, it was “good” precisely because Jesus’s death was not a tragic accident but the deliberate fulfillment of God’s plan to rescue people from sin and death—even if the exact hours spark honest chronological debate among believers.

The Events That Changed Everything

According to the New Testament Gospels, Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, tried before religious and Roman authorities, scourged, mocked, and nailed to a cross outside Jerusalem around the year 30 or 33 AD. He died around 3 p.m. on the Preparation Day before the Sabbath, uttering words of forgiveness, abandonment, and completion: “Father, forgive them,” “My God, why have you forsaken me?” and “It is finished.” His body was taken down before sunset and laid in a borrowed tomb.

To outsiders, this looked like the end of a failed messianic movement. To believers across centuries, it was the moment heaven and earth intersected in the most intimate way possible. God entered the full reality of human pain—not as a distant observer, but as one who bled, thirsted, and died. In that act, Christians see the ultimate expression of solidarity with every person who has ever suffered injustice, loneliness, or despair. Whether the precise day was what we now call Friday or another weekday in ancient reckoning does not diminish this reality.

The Theological Heart: Atonement, Love, and Redemption

The deepest significance of Good Friday lies in the Christian doctrine of atonement—the reconciliation of humanity with God. Christianity teaches that sin (humanity’s collective and individual turning away from God’s goodness) created a gulf no human effort could bridge. Jesus, understood as both fully God and fully human, stepped into that gulf. His death is seen as a substitutionary sacrifice: he took upon himself the consequences of sin so that forgiveness could be freely offered.

This is not abstract theology; it is profoundly personal. The cross reveals a God who loves not because we are lovable, but while we are still broken. As the apostle Paul wrote, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). It is love that refuses to be defeated by evil, refusing retaliation and instead absorbing violence in order to overcome it. In the words of countless Christian writers, the cross is where justice and mercy kiss—God’s holiness is satisfied not through our punishment, but through his own self-offering.

Good Friday also confronts the paradox of suffering. In a world still filled with injustice, war, illness, and grief, the cross insists that suffering is never the final word. Jesus’s cry of forsakenness assures believers that God understands abandonment. His resurrection (celebrated two days later on Easter) promises that death itself has been defeated. Thus, Good Friday is not merely mournful; it is hopeful. It declares that the worst day in history became the doorway to the best news humanity has ever received: you are loved beyond measure, forgiven beyond deserving, and invited into a restored relationship with your Creator.

A Day of Reflection and Response

Throughout history, Christians have marked Good Friday with fasting, silence, and solemn services. Many attend the “Three Hours’ Agony” (noon to 3 p.m.), pray the Stations of the Cross, venerate a cross, or simply sit in quiet contemplation. No Eucharist is celebrated in many traditions, underscoring the emptiness before Easter. The day invites everyone—believer or seeker—to pause amid the rush of life and ask: What does sacrificial love look like in my own story?

In an age of instant gratification and self-promotion, Good Friday offers a counter-cultural wisdom: true greatness is found in self-emptying service, forgiveness of enemies, and trust that God can bring life out of what looks like total loss. It challenges us to confront our own capacity for betrayal (like Judas), denial (like Peter), or indifference (like the crowd), while extending the same mercy we have received.

The End Is Not the End

Good Friday does not stand alone. It is inseparably linked to Easter Sunday. The profound significance of the day is that darkness was real, the cross was cruel, and death was certain—yet none of it had the last word. The tomb would be empty. Hope would rise.

On this Good Friday, whether you approach it as a lifelong believer, a curious observer, or someone simply seeking meaning in suffering—or even if you question the exact weekday like Bob Thiel—the invitation remains the same: look at the cross. See there the length to which love will go. And dare to believe that the same power that turned the worst day into the greatest victory can still transform lives, relationships, and even the world’s broken places.

In the end, Good Friday is “good” because it reveals the deepest truth about reality: love is stronger than death, mercy triumphs over judgment, and God is for us, not against us. That is a significance worth pondering—today and every day—beyond calendar disputes.

The Profound Spiritual Significance of Maundy Thursday

 

The Profound Spiritual Significance of Maundy Thursday

Maundy Thursday — also known as Holy Thursday — stands as one of the most intimate and humbling days on the Christian calendar. It marks the final evening of Jesus’ earthly ministry before His crucifixion, when He gathered His disciples in an upper room in Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover meal and forever redefine both worship and leadership through two extraordinary acts: the institution of the Lord’s Supper and the washing of His disciples’ feet.

The name “Maundy” comes from the Latin mandatum, meaning “commandment.” It refers directly to the new commandment Jesus gave that night: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).

The Institution of the Passover / Eucharistic Meal

As the sun set, Jesus and His twelve disciples sat down together for the traditional Passover meal — the same sacred supper that commemorated Israel’s deliverance from slavery in Egypt. But on this night, Jesus transformed it into something far greater.

While they were eating, He took bread, gave thanks, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

After the supper, He took the cup of wine, gave thanks, and offered it to them, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you for the forgiveness of sins. Do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” (Luke 22:19-20; 1 Corinthians 11:23-26)

In that single, solemn moment, Jesus instituted the Eucharistic meal — the Lord’s Supper — that would become the central act of Christian worship for centuries to come. No longer would the Passover only look back to Egypt; it now pointed forward to the cross. The bread and the wine became living signs of His broken body and shed blood, inviting every believer into intimate communion with the Savior who gave everything for us.

The Foot Washing That Follows

After the meal had begun, Jesus rose from the table. Knowing “that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father” (John 13:1), He removed His outer garment — the long robe that marked Him as Teacher and Lord — and set it aside. He took a towel, wrapped it around His waist like the lowliest household servant, poured water into a basin, and knelt down.

One by one, He came to each disciple.

“Give me your foot.”

Peter protested at the sight of his Lord on His knees, but Jesus replied with quiet authority: “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” When He had finished washing all their feet — including Judas’, who would soon betray Him — Jesus stood, put His robe back on, and returned to His place. Then came the lesson that still echoes through every century:

“Do you understand what I have done for you? … Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:12-15)

Why This Matters So Deeply in Our Chaotic World

We live in a world that celebrates power, status, self-promotion, and division. Into that noise, Maundy Thursday places two quiet, revolutionary images side by side: Jesus breaking bread and sharing the cup as the new Passover, and the same Jesus kneeling with a basin and towel.

The Eucharistic meal reminds us that our salvation is not earned by striving but received as a gift — His body given, His blood poured out. Every time we gather at the Lord’s Table, we proclaim His death until He comes and are spiritually nourished by the very life He sacrificed.

The foot washing shows us what that sacrifice looks like in daily life. True love is not loud — it is low. It bends down. It touches what others consider beneath them. It says, without words, “Your dirt does not disgust me. Let me serve you.”

In a culture exhausted by conflict and self-centeredness, these twin acts of Maundy Thursday offer a lifeline:

• The table teaches us communion — we belong to Christ and to one another through His broken body and shed blood.
• The towel teaches us service — the greatest in the Kingdom is the one who kneels lowest.

This Maundy Thursday, may we come to the Lord’s Table with open hearts, remembering the new covenant sealed in His blood. And may we rise from that table ready to wrap the towel of humility around our lives, kneel before one another, and live out the new commandment He gave us.

Because in a chaotic world that screams “Look at me,” Jesus still whispers: “Look at the dirt on your brother’s feet… and wash them. Remember Me at the table, and then serve as I have served.”

That is the profound, life-changing beauty of Maundy Thursday.

UCG, the Letter of the Law and Jury Duty

The United Church of God has published a paper lecturing everyone on why its members shouldn’t serve on juries. Their big complaint? The “world” is far too obsessed with the mere “letter of the law.”

Let that sink in for a second.

This is coming from a Church of God splinter group that has spent decades treating the letter of the law like their personal golden calf — worshiping it, polishing it, and beating members over the head with it — while forgiveness, grace, and mercy have been MIA for as long as anyone can remember. Those three pesky virtues apparently didn’t make the cut in the official COG doctrinal priority list.

In their own words:

“In our modern society judgments are primarily concerned with the letter of the law. In contrast, God looks on the heart and is concerned with the spirit and intent of the law…”

Wow. The hypocrisy is so thick you could spread it on toast.

These are the same people who’ve turned Sabbath-keeping, Holy Day observance, and dietary laws into the ultimate test of righteousness, while genuine mercy often gets dismissed as weak, liberal, or “worldly.” They love quoting Matthew 6 about forgiving others and 1 Corinthians 6 about suffering wrong rather than going to court — right up until it might require them to actually show a little grace in real life.

But sure, go ahead and lecture the rest of us about being too focused on the letter of the law while your entire identity is built on rigid, joyless legalism that makes the Pharisees look positively warm and fuzzy.

Nothing says “We’re all about the spirit of the law” quite like a church that has systematically elevated the law above Christ’s forgiveness and then acts shocked when the world behaves exactly like they do — only without the fake piety.

Truly masterful. Peak Church of God hypocrisy.

Dave Pack: Chasing the Prophetic Unicorn

 

Chasing the Prophetic Unicorn

David C. Pack of the Restored Church of God does not seem to grasp the concept that unicorns are mythical creatures that only exist in the imagination. Some can wonder whether he really believes the goofy ideas spewing out of his mouth or if he simply lacks the basic mental capacity that most adults develop.

The reality is an unfortunate blend of both.

Since every prophetic neuron firing in his brain is accepted as God’s inspiration, he believes his most convoluted theories…temporarily. But to compound matters, the Pastor General is also a theological nincompoop desperate for validation. He will thunder, pound the table, and demonstrate his signature “arrogant sniff” during dramatic pauses, even though his avalanche of proofs is constructed with wet cardboard and smoke.

Perhaps he is trolling his doubters by intentionally creating content gold that he knows will invite ridicule when examined carefully and critical thinking is applied.

During the “Greatest Untold Story! (Part 628),” given on March 21, 2026, the Pastor General admitted that finding the date for the return of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God is a unicorn. The unicorn that he and the RCG brethren have been chasing after has finally been captured.

Part 628 – March 21, 2026
@ 13:54 Apparently, we're looking for some kind of of unicorn. Reserve potentially for one-time use. Some kind of theological, or biblical, or scriptural date. Unicorn date.

Dave is so proud of the dopey little phrases that he thinks are colorful analogies. He loved the idea of a unicorn so much that he repeated it 11 times.

Instead of being clever, he is conjuring yet another dismal swamp filled to the brim with malarkey, discovered by using stone-cold math on a path paved with empty coincidences that will later be a plentiful source of embarrassment. So much for the days of a "precision of doctrine."

The Old Testament prophets could not figure it out. The New Testament apostles could not figure it out. But humble, ole shepherd David C. Pack figured it out.

The Kingdom of God Arrives on Abib 24 (April 10, 2026)

One tiny little fact escaped Dave and his enablers. He taught Abib 24 last year. This year is sure to be equally productive.

Flashback Part 571 – April 19, 2025
@ 1:17:43 What would I tell you, brethren? How could I stand up here and say, “Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not the 24th.” If it’s not, you’re never gonna hear me say that.

@ 1:36:41 I guess you could say it could be the 24th next year. …And man, if it’s not the 24th, as I said before, I will never say that.

 

The Kingdom of God will arrive on Abib 24. That Hebrew calendar date begins on April 10, 2026, at sunset. The details of whether the Kingdom arrives at sunset or dawn, based in Jerusalem or Wadsworth, are still being worked out.

Part 628 – March 21, 2026
@ 09:11 The Bible is true. Now, you may think, “Why do you need to tell yourself that, Mr. Pack?” Well, because I'm trying to figure something out, which is so hard [chuckles], and there are many, many dates that turn out to be false.

Well, 141 to be exact. Abib 24, starting at sunset on April 10, 2026, will be 142. But, really…who’s keeping track of such trifles?

@ 13:45 Well, we've never figured it out. I have now.

God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. Every time Dave explains that the mystery date is a unicorn, he exposes his sublime blindness. It never dawns on him that he is telling the brethren of The Restored Church of God that they are seeking something that does not exist.

@ 15:15 But there’s only one date. What I call a, you know, a unicorn that's out there that no one's been ever been able to figure out.

I am not qualified to know if David C. Pack is clinically an idiot, but he seems so focused on rushing words out of his mouth that he does not bother to allow his ears to hear them. Maybe if his brain got those two to pay attention to each other, fewer dumb ideas sold as “present truth” would need to be recanted.

Since unicorns do not exist, neither does the magical date David C. Pack seeks to discover. The arrival of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God is inevitable, but David C. Pack will never be the one to figure it out. Never. He will catch a live unicorn before he unveils the correct date for God doing anything.

@ 17:35 You're gonna see this this date emerges with a clarity that will just blow your mind. You'll blow your mind. Shock you, really. It it it this date that nobody could figure out comes with an avalanche of proof. An avalanche of proof.

No matter how high the pile of malarkey is stacked, David C. Pack will never be correct about the coming Kingdom of God. But he has no problem blaspheming and taking the Lord’s name in vain when he lays false doctrines at God’s feet.

The man does not even know how to blush.

@ 34:34 So, unless it were revealed to me, what God had concealed in His Word, though He might make me sort of search it out and dig and scratch. Eventually, He would reveal it, and I would I would know the date.

Remember that David C. Pack credited God for the teaching that the Kingdom of God will arrive on Abib 24 in the next few days. That should be most important to the brethren of The Restored Church of God when he walks it back or puffs his chest that he “knew it wudden’t gonna happen.” Like in 2025.

@ 35:13 But, like I said, now that all of what God is gonna do has been resolved, I'm not gonna change any of it

@ 1:28:05 So, we're learning about this unicorn date that appears to be two days after Passover, three weeks away.

Dave will never catch his unicorn. But he will keep trying and trying and trying as long as the RCG brethren allow him to.

@ 1:45:52 God as much as could have said, “We gotta create a unicorn. A date no one will ever think about or even refer to again.”

He seeks a date he will never find. He chases after something he will never catch. Secret truth will never be revealed to him. You will see a Bible riding a unicorn before you see that.

 

@ 55:51 It suggests you got out of the Days of Unleavened Bread. Two days after the Days of Unleavened Bread is the Sabbath of the 24th. The Bible does talk an awful lot about the 24th. Now, we're just, but we gotta prove it.

There is no end to the numbers Dave has previously claimed that the "Bible talks an awful lot about." His fixation is with Abib 24 for the moment.

No prophetic explanation is complete without a few coincidences to tip the scales.

@ 1:01:28 And by the way, this man whose last name is Passover, couldn't help but think about the fact that this church was reformed on the second Passover. Why?

@ 1:41:14 Now, the odds are 364 to 1 that this church would begin on the second Passover. Is that a coincidence?

@ 1:55:24 A Sabbath, anciently, after the Exodus in the 24th is the Sabbath this year, not last year. 19-plus days away. It appears after so long a journey and wondering that the 1335 days serves five purposes. I wanna tell you why they would be 24 days before the 24th.

@ 1:58:46 This very date is literally part of the Mystery of God having disappeared from history.

What has disappeared from Headquarters at The Restored Church of God is theological integrity, critical thinking, Bible literacy, accountability, and men of strength holding fast to the truth. Those are now phantom unicorns roaming the Main Hall and in the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium.

But the RCG brethren have a bigger unicorn to fry: the idea that David C. Pack will ever fulfill the role of Elijah the Prophet. The Pastor General and human idol’s prophetic role is the fat unicorn in the room. He is no prophet, no apostle, and does not speak with God’s authority.

The All-Believing Zealots who cling to that notion will someday face the reality that all that they are now taught in The Restored Church of God are the manifestations of one man’s twisted imagination.

The Abib 24, 2026, arrival of the Kingdom of God is not the only unicorn they are chasing.You will see unicorns fly before you see David C. Pack accomplish anything biblical.

Marc Cebrian

Chasing the Prophetic Unicorn

Thou Shalt Not!!!!!!!!!