Forbidden. For What?
Elizabeth O’Leary-Noble
I attended The Restored Church of God from 2017 to 2022. Being on the outside now looking in has granted me deeper insights as I reflect, still trying to make sense of it all. There have been many “ah ha” moments as I connect the dots, putting together puzzle pieces that come to mind. This is a continuous daily process.
I guess it's a religious PTSD of some sort. The only way to get through this has been to allow myself to review my thoughts and journal them.
Maybe not everyone experiences this. Or perhaps they do and are afraid to share. I hope that by opening up about my experiences, others can relate and see they are not alone. Many are going through this.
I am willing to be a public voice for others who cannot speak up for themselves. These are personal RCG experiences and observations. Some of which I look back on in shame.
RCG illustrates man-made practices, unfair treatment, and emotional and mental abuse that continues to happen to numerous families.
The RCG ministry is very much like the Pharisees with its legalistic policies. They display cultish practices and behaviors, watching your every move. It is hard to see this while inside, but it becomes glaringly obvious once you leave and can gain some perspective.
See if any of this sounds familiar to you.
Dress Code—I understand why there needs to be dress code standards since not everyone will understand how to dress appropriately for Sabbath services. Some few will come dressed inappropriately and offend others, so I get it.
But, for months before leaving, I took mental notes and did research. I would ask myself, “If God were standing next to me would He approve or disapprove of what was currently taking place?"
I'd like for you to do the same as you read.
Women are told not to wear heels higher than 3 inches, skirts must be below the knee, no pants, no sandals, no slits on skirts above the knee, and no "loud” colors. Hair cannot be too short or too long (past the midback). Ladies aren't allowed to wear make-up or dye their hair. Even though those things are NOT in the Bible.
Men can only wear 3 types of colored suits: navy blue, black, and gray. Shirts can only be white, light blue, or gray. Ties cannot be thin, “boujee,” or feminine.
Anything outside of these parameters is called “worldly.”
RCG has a laughable “education” program called Ambassador Center, which is REQUIRED for all Headquarters employees. The “Leadership and Protocol” class (taught by a man who left RCG in 2019) explains how you are expected to dress. THEIR standards of dress. And you must abide.
I can't help but think back to Jesus Christ's day when everyone was probably wearing whatever rags they could throw on just so they could gather and listen to the teachings of God. Yes, clothing has changed drastically today, but ask yourself if this policy is burdensome to incoming brethren who just want to be spiritually fed. There is a strong emphasis and pressure to "appear godly." When coming into RCG, you are made aware of these policies and are expected to go shopping for "appropriate" attire.
My husband and I had to leave our home one year because of an approaching hurricane. We drove north for hours to stay with brethren who invited us and other members. On Sabbath morning, I discovered we would have services in her home. I wanted my husband (who was not a member) to attend with us, so I asked him to sit with me. I was excited for him to hear what I had been learning.
The local minister told me my husband could not sit in the living room with me to attend services since he did not bring a suit. Huh? We had just fled a hurricane, and it never crossed our minds to pack a suit for him.
Not only was he unable to sit with us, but he was also instructed to leave the house.
I was mortified! And embarrassed! My husband couldn’t sit with us to hear the words of God because he could not meet the dress code? (Imagine the apostles turning away villagers from hearing the words of Jesus because they did not have the right garments. That’s ridiculous to consider.)
I'm confident that if God were standing there, a lot of people would have been chastised for turning away His child who wanted to hear His word.
One of the brethren told me I would never appear dressed down in court or in front of kings and queens, so why would I think it's okay to do that in front of God? So much for mercy over judgment. They didn't seem interested in "letting their lights shine." Instead, they cast my husband out. And sadly, I let them.
That rote answer about courts and kings was repeated over and over whenever I heard about someone "dressing inappropriately." It was drilled into our heads, and some regurgitated it when needed. It's like the circumstances didn’t matter. The RCG policy had to be enforced no matter how it would make my husband feel.
It goes without saying, but this did not give my husband a more favorable impression of The Restored Church of God. That encounter completely turned him off. From then on, he didn't even want to hear about them.
To his credit, he kept quiet about me attending and just wanted me “to be happy.”
Sneezing—If someone sneezes in front of you, you are not allowed to say, “Bless you.”
Those few words are a pagan expression, so it is forbidden in RCG. If you do that in front of a minister or brethren, you will be corrected. If you do it accidentally in public with a stranger just by habit, you will feel guilty after. That is how RCG policies play with your head.
There are historical origins of saying "bless you," but no member of RCG is literally blessing someone so their soul does not leave their body after sneezing. Today, it is seen as a public etiquette and courtesy. We cannot be "like the world" and must avoid that behavior.
Find me one story in scripture about people sneezing and saying "bless you" with a rebuke thereafter. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Heart Symbols—Using heart emojis on social media is not allowed. Having hearts on clothes, jewelry, or art in your house is cause for concern in RCG.
I was told by an older "sister in Christ" that hearts are wrong, they're pagan, and they should be avoided.
My dear friend received a Purple Heart in the Army for saving his friend's life. Since I have always been the "cheerleader" for those I care about, I was his support for getting through an extremely rough time in his life. As a thank you and gesture of appreciation, that friend gave me a beautiful heart necklace with a diamond.
But, I gave that necklace away!
That is how deeply brainwashed I was! I am disgusted over what I allowed to poison my mind and rob me of special momentos that in no way dishonored God.
Birthdays—No celebrating allowed.
RCG teaches that birthdays are bad. It is another pagan practice that supposedly invites demons to watch over you throughout the year. Yeah. That is why anyone would want to observe it.
The Bible examples they tell us that prove it is wrong are:
- On his birthday, Pharaoh killed the chief baker in Genesis.
- On his birthday, King Herod beheaded John the Baptist.
- Job’s children were killed while celebrating a birthday.
They all died, so we cannot celebrate birthdays. This topic has to be proven to each person individually through Bible study. You need to have your own conviction about whether you agree or not.
Remember to prove all things.
Marriage—No interracial marriage. No marrying outside RCG.
My husband and I are of different races. Couples of mixed race can attend RCG. The church is to accept the state in which we are called. They may not split you up, but they will not allow singles to get together once they are in.
Only being able to marry within your race in RCG explains why many brethren are single when they don’t want to be. The dating pool is very shallow, especially for those who aren’t Caucasian or African American.
Age differences are also a factor. Older men can marry younger women, but not often the other way around.
Surprise, surprise. These “judgment calls” are much more “liberal” when it comes to the ministers. Brethren seem to be held to a more rigid standard than the very men who enforce them.
Looking back on these topics, have you noticed anything Pharisaical or cultish? I understand being "set apart" from the world, but many of these policies scream legalism and control.
RCG reminds me of the Pharisees because they were a small subset of the Jewish authority. They were a "sect." That term isn't far removed from the word “cult.”
cult
a system or group of people who practice excessive devotion to a figure, object, or belief system, typically following a charismatic leader
Brethren follow David Pack with unquestioning faith. I did, too, when I was ASLEEP!
One would think exercising discernment and proving all things should result in brethren benefiting by exposing doctrinal errors. But, due to the deception and mental conditioning in RCG, that discernment is rejected and sometimes attacked. You learn quickly to keep your mouth shut if you have "disagreements" in RCG.
For 2 years before my exit, I contemplated these major red flags.
The number-one giveaway that there were serious problems in RCG was by observing the lifestyles of the ministers and leaders. You can't help but see the discrepancy between what is taught and what is practiced. But, you decide.
Is having a barn, horses, lakes, a massive flower garden, over 100 acres of land, and residential houses needed for a church to preach the gospel?
Should a leader and his “top ministers” be so insulated that they arrogantly preach about inflation, groceries, work life, building character, being kind, selfless, and “sacrificing for the work” while living inside their compound funded by brethren, away from the rest of the world?
Their campus life is nothing compared to the average member's living standards. Those same people who struggle to afford food and gas are paying for every new tree that goes onto the campus. They may say the brethren aren't paying for them, but who is paying off the bank loans? Ultimately, the members are paying for all of it.
What about the brethren living in third-world countries struggling to feed their families? How do you think that makes them feel to see the church leadership living cushy and snug while they're fighting every day to survive? Is that godly love?
How about those who need third tithe assistance and are denied? Some are senior citizens or disabled. I know people who are NOT being taken care of by the ministry. God made sure the money was there for needy members, but Headquarters makes those people jump through hoops. Is that brotherly love?
RCG has collected millions upon millions of dollars under a false doctrine made up by David Pack called “Common.” Members have sold off houses, vehicles, art, jewelry, and land, among other things. Some have surrendered their retirement accounts and inheritances. Some people have given RCG so much that they created financial problems for themselves because "Jesus Christ is coming back soon," so they didn't think they would need it anymore. That is what David Pack told them and is still telling them.
No religious organization should be raking in millions of dollars taken off the backs of hard-working people with zero accountability. No member of RCG knows for sure how any of their money is being spent, whether wisely or foolishly. Even those who send in money as third tithe or Ambassador Youth Camp funds have no control over where it really goes. The minister will tell you, "That is none of your concern."
Do not count on the check you write to go towards helping your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Your money is supposed to help spread the gospel worldwide, but they appear to have stopped doing that. The website just sits there. And The World To Come programs stopped being produced 5 years ago. How exactly are they preaching the gospel now?
Whenever I listened to sermons, I noticed almost every minister had their own little twist to the scripture. The applications were strict, with no wiggle room. A lot of "wordplay" was used. Verses were "cherry-picked" to fit agendas, especially "damage control" sermons designed to protect David Pack after a date failure. Or when a "lesser" minister reinforced a new doctrine David Pack had recently taught. Personal interpretations were used frequently.
False doctrines are commonly established by distorting biblical understanding.
I read somewhere that tampering with the scriptures requires some basis of authority. Often, a cult leader must resort to the claim of apostolic authority. Dooh! That is why the false teachers of the New Testament are so frequently referred to as “false prophets” and “false apostles.”
The Restored Church of God is headed by such a person.
Here are some Bible verses to keep in mind.
2 Timothy 4:3-4
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
2 Corinthians 2:17
For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ.
2 Peter 3:16-17
As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures. You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked;
Revelation 22:18-19
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Everyone should read "Is 'That Prophet' Alive Today?—The Rise of False Prophets" to clearly understand who David Pack is and what RCG has become.
For those contemplating joining The Restored Church of God, please be careful. We each have our own spiritual path that God leads us through but be warned. To attend RCG is to agree to disappointment, heartache, and the loss of money and time. You will be entering an abusive relationship.
RCG is a bully. Once you commit, they will force themselves into every aspect of your life and won't ease up. The intimidation and manipulation will come. It will feel like you are being "beat up for your lunch money." They will get you to do things you don’t want to do. Things that you know are wrong.
You will be instructed to believe a man, specifically David Pack. He is a proven false prophet. The ministers will tell you he isn’t. But the Bible DOES.
If you value your mental health and the well-being of your family, stay away from The Restored Church of God.
Elizabeth O’Leary-Noble
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Marc Cebrain
See: Forbidden. For What?
10 comments:
"One of the brethren told me I would never appear dressed down in court or in front of kings and queens, so why would I think it's okay to do that in front of God?"
This is a common argument in armstrongism. I have heard it in LCG and UCG. Obviously with a greater strictness in LCG. My question is, what do you wear when you pray? I assume these people wouldn't come before God in just their Pajamas or normal clothes when they pray (tounge in cheek)...To me it is demonstrative of Armstrong's obsession with looking like you are good/sucessful, and exemplifies the underlying ideology of a works based salvation model.
But they have name church of god and the sabbath day.
When Jackson Brown's smash hit "Redneck Friend" came out in the early '70s with the awesome slide guitar work by David Linley, I immediately saw a direct apples to apples comparison between the main character and all of the WCG members whose Pavlovian training, world views and actions were horribly skewed towards the most conservative possible attitudes. They maintained standards that not only caused them to look down on all others who failed to keep them, but ultimately also on one another, since the standards were so extreme that they really were impossible to keep.
Once, when my new wife and I were visiting family, I preconditioned her to the assault to her humanity which might take place during the visit. I asked her if she was familiar with Jackson's song, and rehearsed a few of the verses, as in "They've got a little list of all the things of which they don't approve!" I told her that if I thought she was going to get herself into any verbal troubles with my family, I was going to smile and wink at her and say "Jackson Brown!" We had a lot of fun with it. I of course, feeling more bold and comfortable, deliberately shocked and offended, because I really didn't care, but I did want to protect my wife, so they would not indulge in any cruelties.
I think the biggest problem with RCG, and to a larger extent, the whole Armstrong movement, is that there is an attitude of being so righteous, and in everyone's face with that righteousness, that it actually hurts people and pushes them away. Righteousness is weaponized and used to hurt and exclude others. If any RCG members have any concept of personal evangelism (winning the other guys for Jesus Christ), this prevailing church attitude comes off as anti-evangelism. That's its face. And, it is most unChristlike in its deliberate offensiveness. It exemplifies an attitude of failing to value one's fellow Christians, and this attitude is only deepened by the church policies in marking and shunning. So much for trying to avoid offending little ones, which in reality is merely a sense of graciousness, accomodating others inclusively rather than projecting the attitude that you are unwanted, don't matter, and are out of here for any little offense.
It would not be a bad thing for RCG members to ask themselves, "Am I really better off, a better example, a better version of me for my membership in Dave's church?" I hate to say it, but if in some sort of dire emergency, I had forgotten to pack an approved color suit, and the only shelter from the emergency was with people who thought I needed to leave for the day because of that, I would have just kept on walking. I would have no problem putting the onus on my wife to then make her own decision. The people who kicked the guy out not only are not Christian by any known standards, but in my opinion aren't even human! They're concerned with being baptized and receiving the Holy Spirit, and don't even realize that that doesn't work unless they have the spirit of man first!
Can some members in PCG, LCG, PKG, CCOG, etc PLEASE have the courage to repeat what Marc and Elizabeth have done, so this man-made religion of Armstrongism and it's offshoots can finally die the death of cowards it deserves?!
People's joy, peace and security are taken from them, not to mention their eternities, if they pass away still believing the false doctrines taught in the Acogs. Life and death here folks. Thank you Elizabeth. Thank you Marc.
Thanks for showing your experience;
And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you — they whose judgment now for a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not; 2 Peter 2:3
Well sweet girl I thought all those same things before I left have a 1981 envoy from WCG and you can find them at hwalibrary.com
Dress code was totally different from RCG. Also silly made up rules and ridiculous interpretation of scriptures turned me off as soon as be I started attending. But my husband was hooked so I stayed as long as I could but you reach that point when you say enough! No more, bye bye .
Can you believe this?: There is/was no third tithe. The Levites were 2% of the population - Num 31:30. Ten percent (tithe) of Israel's annual harvest would be too much for them. So they got the tithe every third year, and the tithes were stored up. The Levites are listed first as recipients of the tithe in Deut 14:28-29; 26:12. The verses do not mention a third tithe, only a third year. The third year was the year of tithing which indicates the first and second years were not years of tithing to give to others. Israel saved tithes every year for use at the feasts and every third year gave a separate tithe. That's it. Tithes are not designated as 1st, 2nd, 3rd in the Bible. Which COg will repent first (Rev 3:19)??
In the 23rd chapter of Matthew, we read that Jesus said:
25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.
27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
In the first epistle attributed to Peter, we read:
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. - I Peter 3:3-4
Don't you wish that these folks actually read the Bible which they claim to know so well?
As I read this I started to recognize a sour bad taste in my mouth over all of it. I grew up in this, from the 50s. It was second nature when you were a small child, the rules, the ridiculous qualifications you had to grow up in. As a teenager in the 60s and early 70s, I questioned everything. I never heard such cockamamie rules in all of my life. None of my friends from school had to abide by these ridiculous ethics. But even after walking away from it after I graduated from high school, I went back and raised my kids in it because I was thoroughly brainwashed. But that's what cults do. You get suckered in by a message you hear on the radio, or the TV and it sounds so nice and comforting and familiar, so you ask about it and pass the qualifications to get invited to church. They make you feel so welcomed for a week or two and then slap you with the rules. By that time, you're scared shitless, you don't wanna have to go through the tribulation or miss the boat to the place of safety so you obey. Can you get some ridiculous ass hat like DP who makes it all sound so logical and believable. He's so slimy and insidious and corrupted. But you stay because by now you have to or lose your salvation, you're afraid to leave. It's all so absurd, but you're brainwashed. You ignore your conscience and sensibility, you doubt yourself, because now you are degraded to a brainless minion. It hurts my heart to read her story because of the damage it does even after you walk away. Still gives me that sour taste in my mouth.
I've got a couple favorite eras of my life. The '90s were pretty good with a new marriage, upgrade in career, and Bill Clinton, fellow baby boomer, as president. But the '70s were a close second, because that was the time period when Armstrongism suddenly became untenable, no longer viable largely because Jesus did not honor the personal appearance tour which HWA had booked for Him starting in January 1975. We kind of got a little bit of an advanced notice for this in 1972, because the Germans were also a no-show for HWA's booking formthem, too! So, suddenly, it was party time, with yours truly and numerous family members and friends suddenly realizing that it was time for us to make up for all of the things of which we had been deprived by a lying bunch of fools.
Believe me, there were those back then who said we were throwing out the baby with the bath water, and that we'd be jerked painfully back to our senses real soon when the Germans actually did arrive! But, after the partying reset, most of us went on to live good lives, have good careers, and enjoy the lives the grifter-false prophets said we'd never get to have! It is very difficult for me to understand how Armstrongism failed to simply collapse and fall into oblivion sometime during 1975. That was going to be one of the mysteries I took to my grave. But, just within the past few years, I've witnessed great deceptions which believers allow to be above fact-checking, simply because they are loyal to a philosophy to such an extent that they give their leaders who are in reality just lying grifters a pass. Thank you chief grifter Donald for helping me to understand this one last great mystery before I join the grandfathers. Peace out!
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