Saturday, December 31, 2022

Pathetic Little Self-Appointed COG Prophet Releases His 23 Prophecies For 2023



As the end of 2022 rapidly approaches self-appointed prophets of doom, both in and out of the church, are releasing their prophecies for 2023. In COGland today many see themselves at the tipping point of ushering in the end times, a time so many of them gleefully look forward to so they can be proven right for the first time in their pathetic little lives.

The Grande Dame of COG prophecy utterances is our very own Great Bwana to Africa and 150 Caucasians, the esteemed and most highly sought after theological on the planet, the only man preordained at the beginning of creation to arise in the end times and lead the COG into glory, Dr. Robert Thiel Piled Higher and Deeper.

The Great Bwana has released his top 23 prophecies the wishes will happen in 2023.

In Mark 13:37 and Luke 21:36, Jesus tells His followers to watch world events that will precede His coming. In this sermon, Dr. Thiel goes over 23 items to watch in 2023 and points out events that were related to many of them in 2023:

1. Scoffers in the Last Days

2. Morality Prophecies Being Fulfilled

3. Media, Internet, and Other Censorship

4. Weather Sorrows and Troubles

5. Earthquakes

6. The White Horse of the Apocalypse

7. Strife and the Red Horse of War

8. Trade

9. The Deal of Daniel 9:27

10. Knowledge Increasing

11. Debt

12. US Dollar Dominance will Decrease

13. CBCGs and 666

14. Gold

15. Unrest, Terror, and the Dividing of the USA

16. Europe Will Work to Reorganize

17. Europe Will Have a Great Army

18. Steps Towards the Formation of the King of the South Will Occur

19. The Time of the Gentiles will Lead to Armageddon

20. Jews Ready to Sacrifice

21. Totalitarian Steps

22. Preparation for the Short Work

23. Fulfillment of Matthew 24:14 and 28:19-20 

Dr. Thiel goes over prophetic scriptures (in 2 Timothy, Habakkuk, Amos, Daniel, Matthew, Mark, Romans, Revelation, Isaiah, 2 Corinthians, Psalms), including those that must be fulfilled before the start of the Great Tribulation as well as others that also need to be fulfilled before Jesus returns. When are some prophetic events expected and not expected to be fulfilled? Dr. Thiel goes over many biblical items and ties them in with world events that happened and are in the process of happening.


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

A preacher says "Watch for earthquakes."

A prophet says, "Portland, Oregon, will be devastated by an earthquake on January 16."

That list is a perfect illustration of Bob's underachievement as a "prophet." He'll look back on those 23 items a year from now and be smugly self-satisfied that he was correct in prophesying those phenomena. But he won't actually have prophesied a damn thing.

Anonymous said...

23 points in a sermon? I prophesy that Bob never learned the lesson of his Graduate Club "One-Point Speech."

DW said...

Bob, your #22, preparation for the "short work" you imagine yourself doing has been on your stupid lists for years and years! The most pathetic thing about that fact is that you don't even know what the work of God is...when asked that very question, Jesus answered, "The work of God is to believe in Him who He has sent"(John 6:28-29). No mention of some idiotic short work anywhere in Scripture.

This is more of the same old, same old. Same lists, just reshuffled. How is this nonsense leading anyone to a saving faith in Jesus?

Anonymous said...

Some guesses in the realm of obvious trends, but nothing really specific or bold of the sorts that would normally be expected of the Biblical prophet archetypes whose existence defines our modern meaning of the word "prophet".

To consider Bob Thiel a prophet, one must vastly lower one's expectations of what a prophet is, or does. But, then, even if you acknowledge him as a questionable, lower level prophet, that renders his message as questionable or nearly useless, nonspecific, and only a fool would base his or her life and plans on it.

If you could boil Bob's message down to its simplest form, his basic intent would be that the HWA end tmes prophecy mold is unfolding, although the specifics still cannot be pinned down. And, this has been the special "hook" of Armstrongism my entire life, starting when my parents were "called" to the scam back in 1955. I expect to die within the next few years, and although I have watched the Armstrongites backpedal, wiggle, and squirm over their "delayed" prophecies, I got to live the life they said I'd be deprived of. What a horrible thing, to cast big black thunderclouds over a young person's life! Some even ended up being enslaved for life by this! They never saw the error or managed to break free, and their finances, friendships, attire and personal grooming habits, the condition of their families, health, and well being were all highly leveraged!

If the past six years have taught us nothing else, surely everyone has seen that beliefs which spawn activism and change of lifestyle are often based on fairy tales articulated by powerful charismatic orators. Well, almost everyone. Those who bought into the myths and theories can't see what has actually happened to them. Life in the USA lately has been a macrocosm of what happened to us and our beliefs through Armstrongism all those decades ago. Ironic how life can be!

RSK said...

All but maybe two of those things are sooo general. What a useless "prophet". Thats on par with horoscope predictions.

Anonymous said...

"same as it ever was, same as it ever was. "

Anonymous said...

Romans 9:28 For He will finish the work and cut it short in righteousness,Because the Lord will make a short work upon the earth.

Tonto said...

Ok, so Im watching for Earthquakes. Now what??

Christianity is NOT a spectator sport!

Anonymous said...

At first, I thought maybe he was lightening up on the percentage of the gen pop who were born homosexual. But, sly devil, he probably couched it in #2 Morality prophecies fulfilled. Bet he learned that from trying to get his cruddy message on to radio and TV!

Anonymous said...

watching for Earthquakes

Shouldn't we be FEELING for earthquakes? There's not much to see unless it's a very big quake.

DennisCDiehl said...

Bob operates on superstition and his now bygone gods that control the weather and such like Thor with his hammer or his OT God because He says he does. Baal was really not a weather God nor Isis the goddess of fertility. Science has put those gods of the gaps into very small gaps. Bob lives in the gaps.

What Bob thinks is prophetic is simply observations in nature and the cycles of it all that are quite normal and some of which humans can get ground up in. Nothing theological or prophetic to see here.

Bob is childish in his perspectives and archaic in his explanations. This of course, is what religion and prophecy requires to stay alive.

Anonymous said...

In contemplating all of the visible and vocal proponents or leaders of Armstrongism whom we normally discuss here, I find many of the details in the story of Pinocchio to be very informative. Gepetto, of course has already died (HWA), but if he were alive, I am sure he would be anxious for at least one of his puppets to finally become a real, live young man. Most of them appear to be currently stuck in their "donkey" stage. One thing is for certain. Unless you are actually ensnared by one of their churches, they're a real hoot to watch!