Friday, June 21, 2013

Dave Pack Says "The Garden of Eden is open for business again"

Davey said today that some of his property will have gardens on it that he will allow the public to come and look at.  Of course, the viewers will be selective in who gets to actually step on to the property. Cameras and security will be scanning each face to make sure that no disfellowshipped people or Dennis sets foot on the property.

Dave even has his god bless him with a hidden spring of water that he will use to irrigate his property.  When the rest of the world is dying from lack of rain during his tribulation, Dave will keep watering his property.

Many elements of the campus are now coming together, with more trees, gardens, and sod being installed each week. Exterior work outside the Hall of Administration on the eastern side is also taking shape. The developing landscape has approximately 4.5 miles of pipeline buried beneath the surface to irrigate the rolling grounds. God has blessed us with water from our own spring that will enable us to maintain the green turf and sustain many towering trees, lush plants and flowers through the hot summer months without the enormous cost of water this many acres and plants would require. This has turned into a tremendous blessing considering the possible water restrictions that may be imposed in the future. We have developed a saying that, “The Garden of Eden is open for business again.” We are pleased to announce that there will be a public area where city residents may enjoy spectacular flower gardens and specially decorated grounds.


Joe Moeller said...


Can everyone take their clothes off now at the new "Garden of Eden"??

Wadsworth's newest nudist colony! A cant miss!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Anonymous said...

Throw in water slides too! Dave Pack's rivers of living water should be the FUNNEST!

RSK said...

My wife, who was never associated with the COGs, has a hard time keeping up with these various individuals I talk about - and admittedly, so do I. Is there a "Who's Who" listing on this site somewhere?

Its kind of hard to distinguish between That Prophet, Gods Most Tenured Evangelist, The Anointed-for-Diarrhea-Who-Is-Also-A-Prophet, the Incarcerated Apostle and the rest.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing Joe! would be great to be able to go on a vacation and not have to take anything but a toothbrush!

Byker Bob said...

Well crank up the old Iron Butterfly classic "Inna Gadda da Vidal" (as the writer of the song pronounced "in the garden of Eden" to his band mates while he was wasted!)

Somehow, it never occurred to me that starting an arboretum would be a good, effective way of spreading the gospel! Oh well, their gospel is one we don't want to be spread, so effectiveness really doesn't matter.


Mickey said...

Read this gave me the most unfortunate mental picture of DP dressed in angelic drag with a flaming sword at the entrance deciding who gets to come in:)