Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Philadelphia Church of God: Online Bible Studies Need Ministers Permission If 2 Or More Gather To Watch It Together

And you had better not be a male and  female in the same room!  God knows you would soon be fornicating like rabbits as you listened to Gerald rant in the back ground.  Besides, if two or more are gathered there might be some dissenting opinion that would destroy the faith of all the others.  Questioning will not be tolerated!

Singles Bible Study
Can singles meet in one place to watch the Bible study? We love this idea! However, you must get ministerial approval beforehand. Any group of two should not consist of just one man and one woman. Also, it is still a good idea for everyone meeting together to go through the registration process and bring their own laptop or mobile device to the meeting place. This will allow everyone to comment and join the online fellowship if they want.

Security is also vitally important.  God knows you don't want any heathen pagans hearing the word of Jesus.  Oh wait, wrong church, make that Herbert Armstrong's words.

Do I need to register? Yes, as soon as possible. Because this event is restricted to PCG members and prospective members who are attending services, security is important. But having you register in advance does more than just restrict public access; it will also facilitate our plans for the online interaction and fellowship.


Byker Bob said...

Talk about controlling!

We've all heard the phrase "atheist in actual practice". For all intents and purposes, these folks not only elevate Herbert W. Armstrong above Jesus (oddly enough, in spite of not believing in dispensationalism), but all of these controls they indulge in indicate a complete lack of belief in or understanding of the Holy Spirit. Let me put it this way. It's as if they believe that by sheer willpower they should follow all of the physical constraints and slavish instructions of their minister to the point of not learning to listen to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit. Consequently, they are not having any kind of spiritual experience whatsoever. They are still stuck as Hagar, and haven't moved past Sinai! What a shame!



Anonymous said...

Dr.Bob Jones the First assured the students on the campus here of Bob Jones University that "there would be kissing allowed on this campus over my dead body."

Well he's been dead for some time and his grave is on the campus. Inside sources assure me that is where students go to kiss. lol

The need to get ministerial permission to be with another human being is an amazing example of the control people allow themselves to be placed under.

Ultimately, what is the attraction these people find in attending such a church? Do ministers have to get permission from the members when two or more of them get together? I think not! lol


Douglas Becker said...

You might want to get permission from your psychiatrist instead -- he'd probably recommend against it.

Anonymous said...

I can only assume fornicating is acceptable so long as a Flurry recording is not playing in the background...

Joe Moeller said...

Flurry, just like Colonel Klink from "Hogans Heroes" , insists that "SECURITY IS IMPORTANT!" ...

From the actual script of an episode of "Hogan's Heroes: A Klink, a Bomb and a Short Fuse (#2.8)" (1966)

(Reenacted below, with guest appearance of Gerald Flurry as "Klink", Bob Thiel as "Schultz", and Joe Moeller as "Colonel Hogan") ...

Col. Wilhelm Flurry Klink: What are you waiting for? Cut the wire.

Col. Robert Moeller Hogan: That's the problem. One of these wires disconnects the fuse, the other one fires the bomb. Which one would you cut, Shultz?

Sgt. Hans Georg Thiel Schultz: Don't ask me, this is a decision for an officer.

Col. Robert Moeller Hogan: All right. Which wire, Colonel Flurry Klink?

Col. Wilhelm Flurry Klink: This one.
[points to the white wire]

Col. Robert Moeller Hogan: You're sure?

Col. Wilhelm Flurry Klink: Yes.

Col. Robert Moeller Hogan: [Cuts the black wire, the bomb stops ticking]

Col. Wilhelm Flurry Klink: If you knew which wire it was, why did you ask me?

Col. Robert Moeller Hogan: I wasn't sure which was the right one, BUT I WAS CERTAIN YOU'D PICK THE WRONG ONE!


Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Anonymous said...

Too little, too late.

In its history, the PCG has rejected a greater number of singles for new membership, than it has in its congregations.

For the most part, the PCG elite prefers their common singles to remain single for life.

Anonymous said...

That's exactly right Col. Robert Moeller Hogan.

I use Col. Wilhelm Flurry Klink's booklets as Bible study tools. If he writes one thing, I research until the opposite is found to be true.

Klink cut the one thing (There are no such prophets—EXCEPT FALSE ONES), that should've been kept in HWA's MOA, so never count on his expertise to defuse a bomb.

Assistant Deacon said...

Dick, meet head.

Anonymous said...

It sounds very romantic and traditional, but there's no such thing as a prospective PCG member; you're either with them or with the Laodiceans. The best of man is but dung and filthy rags in PCG's sight.

They're all about top security, just count the number of gates Flurry hides behind.

Corky said...

"Where any two or three of you are gathered together, behold, HWA must be among you"

Otherwise, you may end up imagining that some kind of "holy spirit" is guiding you when you develop normal human feelings and thought processes.

If you should go so far as to finally understand and actually 'use' the scientific method in search of truth...then, verily, you are possessed by a demon!

CAUTION: clear thinking and use of the scientific method may lead to atheism!

Anonymous said...

The simple fact that it is so important that a "bible study" is "secure" and "restricted" from "public access" is just one more sure sign that it is a cult, predicated around esoteric knowledge the uninitiated must not be allowed to possess. Scientology works this way, as does Mormonism. Jesus said "Freely you have received, freely give." This has been commonly understood as being financially "free" of charge, but just as properly it could refer to any other way of restricting access also, not just financial restrictions. Frankly I have no idea what esoteric knowledge they might claim to have about Jesus, or Herbert, or claim to have received from them, but I don't need to know because it's not possible for it to be anything other than straightup bullshit anyway. They can have their inner sanctums, secret handshakes, secret bible studies, and secret knowledge.

Anonymous said...

Funny thing is, a good portion of those who participate in the singles Bible study will probably use fake usernames.

I don't see the point, really.

Anonymous said...

Gerald Flurry the ANTI-Elijah who HATES KIDS strikes again.

From: Exit And Support Network

Letters From Those Impacted by Philadelphia Church of God

Flurry Tells Members Not to Have Any More Children:

June 27, 2013

Gerald Flurry gave a sermon recently which instructed members not to have any more children because they are close to end of the age now. I believe that Flurry is using that as a clever tactic to swindle money from members. "End of the Age" sermon = $ --Resigned member (Trinidad)

Byker Bob said...

I've got it! Some of the young people in Flurry's cult have discovered how to do a topical Bible Study, and are abusing it by getting together and reading the passages relating to the great romantic adventures of some of the Biblical characters!

Why they've already learned about mandrakes, and the seduction techniques employed by gentile ladies like Delilah and Ruth, the Onan method of birth control, and how to attract the attention of a king while your husband is away by taking a bath on a roof.

That young couple whose picture Gary used as graphic illustration are actual PCG members. They didn't realize they were under surveillance by Dennis Leap as the guy read Song of Solomon to the gal! When he read the passages related to breasts to her, they realized that they would need to restrain themselves, but shortly after he read "How beautiful are your feet in sandals!" the gal got out her laptop to do some online shoe shopping.

Actually, none of that registered with Flurry or Leap! What really burned their birds was when the couple's study turned to the saga of Lot's daughters, capped by the last word on uprightness, the qualifications for a Bishop which Paul outlined for Timothy. Suddenly, they began to realize that Herbert W. Armstrong was not even qualified to be a minister, let alone the end time Elijah! They realized that that lack of Biblical qualification was responsible for the whole disappointment of 1972-75 thing, and the whole annual postponement of the end times ritual which has taken place ever since. What Leap and Flurry didn't know was that the couple had decided to leave anyway, but were worried about how to handle that issue with their parents! PCG's doctrinal approach totally solved the problem, though! The couple was disfellowshipped, there are no worries about the parents, since the church won't allow them to communicate, and the couple has since consulted with a mainstream Christian counsellor at a large nondenominational church in their community and are obtaining some much needed therapy and pre-marriage counseling. They are also learning about Jesus Christ for the first time rather than about Herbert W. Armstrong.

Well, actually, I made all of that up. But, if it's not true and happening somewhere in Flurry's church, it should be! Of course, were it true, the parents of the young couple would be wistfully wishing that they had known to leave their children at a mall back when they were toddlers.