Wednesday, July 27, 2022

The Official Tiny Little Prophet Of The COG Erupts In A Gaseous Cloud As He Claims The U.S. Will Have It's Gut's Ripped Open By A Volcano


Our favorite tiny little prophet was sitting in his tiny little world headquarters last night searching the news to find something significant to fit his end-of-the-world scenarios he needs to happen in order to prove he was right. Lo and behold, a volcano erupted in Japan and the eyes of the tiny prophet glazed over in orgasmic delight. Always in need of some kind of death and destruction, this volcanic eruption was the perfect reminder of how HE and HE ALONE has been warning the world...well, actually his 150 Caucasians, about the imminent punishments his god is just itching to dish out on Americans and other British Israelite nations. 

The world's greatest and tiniest end-time prophet starts off by quoting a link from Twitter about volcanic eruptions:

Oh, noes!!!!!! Volcanos erupt!!!

Elijah Joshua ben-Thiel then goes on to remind us of a 2018 news story in the official COG Pravada new source WND, that Yellowstone National Park is a steaming caldera ready to explode...

Meanwhile, in Yellowstone, scientists say a massive eruption could be 6,000 times more powerful that Washington state’s Mount St. Helens in 1980, which killed 57 people an deposited ash in 11 different states and five Canadian provinces. 
 
If the volcano explodes, a climate shift could ensue as the volcano would spew massive amounts of sulphur dioxide into the atmosphere, which can form a sulphur aerosol that reflects and absorbs sunlight. 
 
If all that is not enough to worry about, there are three more volcanos in California alone that are have threat levels listed as “very high” – Mount Shasta, Lassen Volcanic Center and Long Valley Volcanic Region. Three more are listed at “high threat” levels – Clear Lake Volcanic Field, Medicine Lake Volcano and Salton Buttes. VOLCANO ALERTS: You want to talk 'catastrophic climate change'?

Our almost arrested martyr then goes on by reminding us that HE has been WARNING us about Yellowstone for years (as have geologists since before Bwana Bob was born). In his sad pathetic pseudo-powerfulness, he warns us that when Yellowstone erupts it could “literally tear the guts out of the United States of America”.

For many years, I have warned readers that Yellowstone poses a threat (e.g New Madrid earthquake risk and Iceland’s subglacial volcano erupting; any risk from Yellowstone?). Here is something from my book Biden-Harris: Prophecies and Destruction:

Disasters, especially if there is an ElectroMagnetic Pulse (EMP) attack, a severe solar flare storm, devastating hurricane (s) something like a massive volcanic eruption and/or massive earthquake could be part of a so-called “perfect storm” of events that could set the U.S.A. for destruction.

Consider the devastation of New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina. Multiply that by other disasters. The U.S.A. is at risk. Notice, also, the following related to Dr. Michio Kaku’s assessment of Yellowstone:

Scientists assure us that one day the absolutely massive Yellowstone supervolcano will once again experience a Category 8 eruption, and if it happened today it would “literally tear the guts out of the United States of America” … “Instead of having 50 states of the Union, we would have 30 states of the Union.” [Snyder M. As Yellowstone Awakens, Dr. Michio Kaku Warns That It Could “Literally Tear The Guts Out Of The United States Of America”. Economic Collapse Blog, February 2019}

A ‘perfect storm’ of disasters, internal strife, and misplaced confidences will make the U.S.A. a nation that can be defeated. (Thiel B. Biden-Harris: Prophecies and Destruction. Nazarene Books, 2021)

I can just see Bwana Bob bouncing in his chair when he read this. It probably took several minutes for those arms to stop flailing!! The ultimate COG fantasy needs as many deaths and destruction as possible and this fits the bill perfectly! Millions are dead, the volcanic cloud darkens the sun, and a giant hole is left in the earth. Woo Hoo and pass the matzos!

Beware though, it is not only the U.S. that will suffer but also New Zealand! Oh, double noes!!!!!

Of course, it is not just North America or Asia that could be affected by supervolcanoes. 
 
Consider also New Zealand:

The North Island of New Zealand is chock full of volcanoes—and big volcanoes at that. No less than four major calderas sit in the Taupo Volcanic Zone (TVZ) that stretches from White Island in the north to Ruapehu in the south. One of the most violent volcanic eruptions in human history took place in ~186 AD from Lake Taupo. That rhyolitic (high silica) eruption produced an ash plume that may have towered 50 kilometers (164,000 feet!) over the caldera, what we call an “ultraplinian” eruption (and anything that is “ultra” has to be big). More recently, Tarawera in the Okataina caldera erupted in 1886 in one of the most explosive basaltic (low silica) eruptions on record that had ash plume that reached 10 kilometers (~32,000 feet) and buried a number of towns along with blasting a new valley out of the landscape. The North Island is definitely a place where volcanic unrest is taken seriously.

Once again, thinking rather highly of himself, the Great Bwana reminds us that he has traveled to New Zealand!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I should mention that my family and I visited Rotorua, New Zealand twice. We also visited Taupo decades ago.

Well, I have been to Yellowstone four years in a row now, so that makes me a volcanologist! Yes, sirree Bob! I is one!!!

Anyway, all of these erupting scenarios are leading to one thing and that is the end times, at least the end times that have taken up residence in Bwana Bob's head.

Now could Yellowstone, Rotorua, or some other area with major volcanic potential possibly explode before (Mark 13:8) or during the time of the Great Tribulation? 
 
It would seem possible. 
 
Jesus warned about a time of earthquakes and troubles:

8 … And there will be earthquakes in various places, and there will be…troubles. These are the beginnings of sorrows. (Mark 13:8) 
 
The beginning of sorrows is BEFORE the start of the Great Tribulation.

Bwana Bob, the world's foremost volcanologist then warns us with this incredible revealed knowledge:

A supervolcanic eruption such as one at Yellowstone could cause major “troubles,” and truly impact the USA and Canada. An earthquake could trigger this. Volcanic eruptions spew out melted elements and can cause much destruction.

I could say here, "Well, no shit Sherlock!" but I won't. 

Volcanologist Bwana Bob then goes on to warn us with his prophetic vision:

For years I have warned that the USA could be hit with a ‘perfect storm’ of events and disaster that could weaken it during the ‘beginning of sorrows’ so that it would be easier for it to be taken over at the start of the Great Tribulation. Now, we see that the space agency NASA sees Yellowstone as a serious risk. And while some will scoff and say that the probability is too low, less statistically ‘probable’ events have happened. Plus, because of the decline in morality in the USA, destructive events are going to hit it. 


Of course, it is not just North America that could be affected by supervolcanoes before the coming Great Tribulation (Matthew 24:21).

There are volcanoes in many parts of the world and nearly all can cause major problems. But as Yellowstone is in the USA, it would be those in the USA, and probably Canada, that would be the most affected by it should it erupt.

Coulda, shoulda, woulda. The official COG prophet mantra.

So brethren, heed the official COG volcanologist and his prophetic warnings and join the one true end-time church doing the only work in the world today. Your salvation depends upon it!

Things will not remain as they have. Yellowstone could erupt. Elements will melt. Get your spiritual life in order. 
 
Also AFTER the start of the Great Tribulation, there is a prophecy that sounds like destruction from a volcano: 
 
8 Then the second angel sounded: And something like a great mountain burning with fire was thrown into the sea, and a third of the sea became blood. 9 And a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed. (Revelation 8:8-9)

Volcanoes do pose a threat.

Well, sh.....! 


29 comments:

Anonymous said...

There have been at least a dozen major volcanic eruptions since Bob published his "prophecy." None of those eruptions were of volcanoes Bob mentioned.

Some prophet.

Anonymous said...

When will the gaseous volcano in Arroyo Grande STOP erupting??

Anonymous said...

Never has the Church of God had such a pathetic leader as it has in Bob. Even as crazy as they are, Pack and Flurry have a certain charisma that keeps some enthralled. Bob has nothing.

Anonymous said...

Nice to hear from you again Bob. I was starting to go through withdrawal symptoms not having had a post here about you for a short while.
I didn’t know you had graced our shores here in NZ with your presence. A shame we didn’t have a volcanic eruption to coincide with said visit. Except for the few (very few)followers you have here, no one knew. It certainly wasn’t in the newspapers or a lead item on the tv networks here. Surprising considering Jesus Christ drew huge crowds wherever He went and with the message He preached. But then again the message you have is yours alone and separate from the gospel that Jesus proclaimed.

Anonymous said...

OK. So volcanoes might erupt, fitting in with an end-times scenario, and at the same time, with what we know from science. The difference between a scientist and a prophet is that the prophet is allegedly in touch with the God that controls a volcano, and would know when it will erupt if people don't repent. Isn't it enough that the Supreme Court has repented of abortion? Or do they need to get rid of gay marriage and footbal as well?

Tonto said...

Bob is an "expert" about "passing gasses"!

Anonymous said...

Does anybody really know what these trumpets are intended to mean? The problem with preterism (and I am a partial preterist) is that it is hard to say this has already happened because it is hard to figure out what it means. The problem with futurism (and the Armstrongists are futurists on this scripture) is that it is hard to say this will happen in the future beause it is hard to figure out what it means. Symbolism in the Book of Revelation is a problem to all viewpoints.

The Book of Revelation makes me a little uneasy. I have seen people wander into its perplexing terrain of symbolism never to come back again. The book was added to the end of the Bible by Luther not because it seemed like a summing up or a plan for the future and that was its chronological fit but because Luther was uncertain that it should even be in the canon at all. Eusebius included it in the canon based on a fifty-fifty split belief on the part of Christian churches of that time that it should be there. It almost didn't make it. Typically, Armstrongists would not trust an ancient historian like Eusebius who was aligned with the "pagan counterfeit of the True Church" for anything. But, apparently, because Eusebius' canon passed through the Protestant hands of a collection of King James translators of "Israelite" heritage it became suitably credentialed. (Armstrongism may be the only religion in history that has a racial underpinning for the validity of the Biblical canon).

What if we did not have the Book of Revelation? It would not affect, I believe, the mainstream Christian movement substantially. Sure, there would be some high-flown concepts missing but we could put those on hold for a while. These concepts are not on the critical path to salvation. But its absence would cut the heart out of apocalyptic Millerism - it would become just a hull. For the apocalyptic Millerites one would think that the Bible was about 90 percent Book of Revelation with the other 10 percent being mostly OT and maybe a scant smidgen of Paul.

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Anonymous said...

Not long ago the La Palma volcano in the Canary Islands erupted. Decades ago, I asked Bob if he was interested in info on La Palma, and he was. I sent him a peer-reviewed research paper on the potential danger that could be caused by an eruption - if a large section of the island slipped into the Atlantic, the resulting tsunami could devastate the US East coast, as well as parts of the European and African coasts. As far as I'm aware, Bob never even mentioned it.
Well, Yellowstone would probably more destructive, and Bob lives on the West coast.

Anonymous said...

7:23. The problem is that you referred the article to him and he did not discover it himself. If he had discovered it he would have claimed he had a vision about it and would have blabbed about it for weeks. Bob will die from an earthquake before he ever will a volcano. Even that chance is slim and he will die a natural death.

Anonymous said...

Dankenbring was harping on this over twenty years ago…

Ronco said...

"Never has the Church of God had such a pathetic leader as it has in Bob. Even as crazy as they are, Pack and Flurry have a certain charisma that keeps some enthralled. Bob has nothing."

Oh, but he does have those crappy curtains and crooked bookcases!

Anonymous said...

They all believe that they will be teaching Armstrongism in the Kingdom, which is why they keep making their stupid pronouncements. This is them "qualifying". It almost makes sense in a perverse, cultish sort of way.

Anonymous said...

If Putin doesn't nuke you first...

Anonymous said...

The bible instructs to "enjoy your your young man (woman)." How many young people in the WWCG movement were robbed of their youthful joy by such terror religion. Throwing some church members under the bus has always been the HWA way. By contrast, he lived like a king in his mansion.

Anonymous said...

In what manner did WCG 'young people' get robbed of their youthful joy ??? What do you mean by 'youthful joy' ? Inquiring minds need to know.

Phinnpoy said...

Once a year, without fail, WND runs a story about the Yellowstone's possible eruption. Joseph Farah, the publisher, suffers from prediction addiction just like many ACOG's ministers and members do. Farah is also a Judaizer, just like the ACOG folks. These two things seem to go together.

Anonymous said...

NeoDromos νέο δρόμοςWednesday, July 27, 2022 at 6:55:00 PM PDT, asked:
"Does anybody really know what these trumpets are intended to mean?..."
******
The Trumpets have nothing to do with Donald Trump and his family members!
The 7 Trumps are the wrath of the Lamb and have something to do with the taking down of Satan's governments and kingdoms on this Earth and lead up to Satan going into the bottomless pit for a thousand years: to provide somewhat of a human Utopia on Earth without any influence and control by Satan/demons on mankind for that thousand years. And this will not be any Mickey mouse millennium, as Doug Winnail spews out, where another Jesus reigns on Earth during that thousand years, and time will tell.
What comes after the thousand years? Satan is loosed from the bottomless pit for a short time and then there will be the Day of the Lord, which will introduce God's wrath: the 7 Vials/Plagues to stop Satan and his angels and what they had been doing on this Earth to mess it up again and deceive all mankind again, and result in their deaths: including all human beings.
7 TrumpetS, Rev 6:16, are partial destruction.
7 Vials/Plagues, Rev 14:10, are total devestation.

Will the partial devastation (a third of this and a third of that) associated with the seven trumpets actually occur?

Time will tell...

John

DW said...

Given how our favorite, doubly blessed, tiniest little prophlet of all has been spewing crap all over his MASSIVE audience of 150 confused souls for years, it's only fair that something should vomit all over him...see how he likes hot gas sticking to his pores as his poor, suffering, massive 150 members have rained down on them weekly.

Maybe he can get double portion of lava on his shiny, little head, too. A girl can dream!

Anonymous said...

2.51 AM
Ecc 11:9-10 " young people, enjoy your youth. Be happy while you are still young.."

What do you think the mental state of young peoples mind was as 1975 approached?? I've had some members tell me that they lost the will to live. Or the state of mind of youth when they were deceived with the "In the name of the living God, I tell you that we only have 3 - 5 short years left before the end" lie. Do you think they enjoyed their youth when they believed that nuclear bombs would be dropping all over the place? What of the foolish decisions this lead to? Why pursue a college education if the end is so near? Or why try finding a mate if there's only a few years left?
Young people were thrown under the bus for the same of motivating church members, or trying to bully God into prematurely returning in 1975.. The ministers who pushed these lies belong in prison for the harm they caused.
Btw, how many church members are too embarrassed to step forward and make known how they were deceived and suffered according?

Anonymous said...

Joshua and Jericho and Jesus and Jerusalem

"Jericho ... the destruction of this town, the key to Canaan, was intended by God to become a type of the final destruction at the last day of the power of this world...

"Thus the fall of Jericho became the symbol and type of the overthrow of every worldly power before the Lord, when he should come to lead His people into Canaan and establish the kingdom upon the earth... [and he] ... destroys one worldly power after another, and thus maintains and extends His kingdom upon earth" (C.F. Keil, Joshua, KD, pp.50-52).

The typology of Israel's conquest of Jericho adds extra weight to the argument that the "great day of God Almighty" occurs immediately after the pouring out of the seven bowl plagues of the seventh trumpet. The seven days of marching around Jericho pictures the "wrath of the Lamb". This may be seen in the verses below:

"You shall march around the city, all your men of war, you shall go all around the city once" (Jos 6:3a).

"And Joshua rose early in the morning, and the priest took up the ark of the LORD. Then SEVEN PRIESTS bearing SEVEN TRUMPETS [salpigx, LXX] of rams' horns BEFORE THE ARK OF THE LORD went on continually and blew [salpizo, LXX] with trumpets... But the rear guard came after the ark of the LORD, while the priests continued sounding [salpizo, LXX] the trumpets" (Jos 6:12-13).

"This shall you do six days" (Jos 6:3a).

"And I saw the SEVEN ANGELS which stood BEFORE GOD; and to them were given SEVEN TRUMPETS [salpigx]" (Rev 8:2).

"And the seven angels which had the seven trumpets [salpigx] prepared themselves to sound [salpizo]" (Rev 8:6)

The six days of marching, of once around Jericho, picture the sounding of the trumpets by the first six angels of the seventh seal in the book of Revelation.

"But the seventh day you shall march around the city seven times, and the priests shall blow [salpizo, LXX] the trumpets [salpigx, LXX]" (Jos 6:4b).

The seventh day of marching, seven times around Jericho, picture the sounding of the seventh trumpet (Rev 11:15). After the retro-prospective prophecy of Rev 12-14, in the resumption of the chronological story line of Revelation, it is seen that the seventh trumpet comprises seven angels and their plagues (Rev 15-16).

"On that day only they marched around the city seven times. And the seventh time it happened, when the priests blew with the trumpets, Joshua said unto the people, Shout..." (Jos 6:15b-16a).

"So the people shouted when the priests blew with the trumpets: and it came to pass, when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat..." (Jos 6:20a).

"For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump [salpigx] of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first" (1Th 4:16).

"...Then the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they took the city. And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, ox and sheep and donkey, with the edge of the sword" (Jos 6:20b-21).

"And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh" (Rev 19:21).

"... they burned the city and all that was in it with fire..." (Jos 6:24).

"Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire..." (Rev 18:8)

After the seventh time around Jericho, on the seventh day, the battle begins. After the seventh of seven plagues is poured out "the battle of that great day of God Almighty" (Rev 16:14) begins. This battle in the chronological story line of the book of Revelation occurs in chapter 19, after the retro-prospective insert of Rev 17:1-19:10.

Anonymous said...

Will the partial devastation (a third of this and a third of that) associated with the seven trumpets actually occur?

Time will tell...

John

Hey Apostle John

You’re as annoying as little Bobby

But

Slime still smells

Hoss said...

About 12 years ago, I also attempted to help Bob by pointing out bad source material. I think he made reference to an attempt by Mark Armstrong to support climate change denial. The "source" was a short television news item regarding Antarctic "cooling" (say, -30 C to -40 C).
First, I think they forgot about hemispheric seasonal differences, and not checking sources. Eventually, I found a published Chinese article (in English) that examined the influence of temperature change on the East Australia Current (something like the Gulf Stream), which moves warm water south, and effects Antarctic temperatures.
Anyway, as may be expected, this "help" wasn't acknowledged, neither thanks nor a rebuttal...

Anonymous said...

I was one of those young people, 11:43, and all I can tell you is that I spent the next ten years making up for all the good stuff they found meager Pharisaic excuses to proclaim as bad. The deprivation really sucked as the clock counted down to 1975, but man! You want to talk about zest for life and making up for lost time! The ten years immediately following 1975 were a blast! (Except for those naive enough to allow them to reset the prophecy time clock, spoiling additional big patches of their lives.) With bad prophecy, it's one strike and you're out, buddy!

Anonymous said...

7.10 PM
Trying to make up for lost time would have been a common reaction. But there were degrees of loss.
For some, the loss was such that no zest for life or compensating behavior could make up for the loss. These members silently suffer to this very day. And the lying ministers responsible don't give a crap.

Anonymous said...

What you say is true, 11:47! And for those people still suffering, I didn't share to gloat. My intention was to show what's possible. Frankly, if one is deprived, or willingly deprives oneself, it creates a pent up demand. It's ok to fill that vacuum, although the ministers time-bombed all of us, making it difficult to lighten up and enjoy life once again.

John said...

Anonymous, Thursday, July 28, 2022 at 1:55:00 PM PDT, was inspired to comment writing the following:
******
Will the partial devastation (a third of this and a third of that) associated with the seven trumpets actually occur?

Time will tell...

John

Hey Apostle John

You’re as annoying as little Bobby

But

Slime still smell
******
Anon, do you believe Jesus' following words?
"A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit." Matthew 7:18


Anon, do you believe David's following words (perhaps part of one of his prayers for others who 'bugged' him)?
"Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause." Psalms 35:19

Those inspired words of Jesus and David have been preserved for all human beings to learn from, but for how long will you harbor those mocking thoughts from your mind?

May you have a good day, because, as usual, time will tell...

John

Anonymous said...

Those inspired words of Jesus and David have been preserved for all human beings to learn from, but for how long will you harbor those mocking thoughts from your mind?

May you have a good day, because, as usual, time will tell...

John


I know the Messiah
The Messiah is a friend of mine

Apostle John….you are NO Messiah

Still with the smelly slime I see

Anonymous said...

People tend to admire phenomena which are like themselves. Thing is, I had always thought of Bob Theil as being an anal retentive because of his fanatical approach. But, Freud also spoke of another model, the anal explosive. Reading Bob's insights on volcanic activity has caused me to reevaluate his primary influence. Perhaps he is not retentive. He could be explosive. That could be the cause of his flailing hands, and the randomness or confusion of the crooked curtains, bookshelves, and art works on the walls.

Anonymous said...

Anon, Friday, July 29, 2022 at 11:25:00 AM PDT wrote:
"..I know the Messiah
The Messiah is a friend of mine..."
******
What is the gospel of that Messiah?

The Messiah I am familiar with is going to save all humanity, and subsequently destroy Satan and his angels.

Does your Messiah have better "good news" than that? Doug Winnail's Messiah doesn't. His Messiah, like yours I suspect has a lot of losers, but...

Time will tell...

John