Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Elisha Has To Remind Us Again That He Is Here


 

Anyone with any basic knowledge of the Old Testament knows about the prophets. They were men of deep conviction and faith and had absolutely no hesitation in proclaiming a forceful and precise message for a specific group of people. 

Here we are in 2022 and we have yet another SELF-APPOINTED Elisha in the Church of God trying to justify his mantle while making wimpy-ass predictions because he has no faith in his god to back him up.

All we hear from this modern-day self-appointed prophet is one whiny excuse after another that he is the end time Elisha and that he is tired of everyone failing to acknowledge that, particularly those with a Church of God background. Other than with Jonah, nowhere in the Old Testament do you read about prophets going around constantly whining about their position in life. They trusted fully in their God to do what they said he would do. Not with Bwana Bob, the Chief Overseer of 3,000 Africans and the biggest crybaby church leader the COG has seen in its entire history.

In this wimpy prophet's eyes, the entire Church of God is made up of ignorant people who do NOT understand scriptures as well as he does and therefore are too stupid to understand he is Elisha and that his church is the ONLY true church to belong to in these perilous end-times.

...in the COGs most hold to one or more improper prophetic opinions that differ from that of the Continuing Church of God. A list of these can be found in the article The Laodicean Church Era. Because of this, unless they change, those who will not pay attention to the ContinuingChurch of God will not know when the Great Tribulation will begin until it is too late to flee (cf. Matthew 24:15-20; Revelation 12:14-17). The Apostle John recorded that there would be two groups at the end and that one would flee and be protected from the Great Tribulation (Revelation 12:14-16), while the other would not be (Revelation 12:17).

Elisha Bwana Bob then points out that Elijah, over time, lost this ability to perform miracles and lead the people, so Elisha stepped up to the plate, receiving a double blessing. (We should have known THAT was coming!)

There are several glaring differences between the 1st Elijah/Elisha and this latter-day upstart wanna-be. Bwana Bob has not followed in any "Elijah's" footsteps. Herbert Armstrong would have kicked Bob's ass to the curb so fast his head would be spinning. Bwana Bob cannot claim HWA as his forerunner. Nor can Bwana Bob claim Rod Meredith as Elijah, a man whom HWA suspended from the church for his rotten attitude and who was later kicked out of the Worldwide Church of God after he libeled Leona McNair at the Tuscon ministerial conference. Meredith waited around in WCG so they could use their money and lawyers to fight his court case for him, then after losing the case and forcing the church to pay out a huge sum of money to Leona McNair, Meredith let his self-righteousness take over, and left to lead Global Church of God. where he was also forced out again by Raymond McNair for insubordination. Meredith then went on to take Global's money and members to form another splinter cult where he reigned supreme till he died, never once being an Elijah or Elisha. Bwana Bob has no lineage to link back to and certainly no apostolic succession to connect to.

Then, the Great Bwana has to mention his double blessing again:

The recipient of the double-portion promise, Elisha, was a type of Elijah. Elisha picked up the mantle of Elijah (2 Kings 2:13) which God wanted him to have (1 Kings 19:16-19), did a similar miraculous dry river crossing (2 Kings 2:13-14), also did other miracles (2 Kings 4:30-35; 2 Kings 10:5-14; 2 Kings 6:16-18), as he replaced Elijah as God’s top ecclesiastical authority on earth (cf. 1 Kings 19:16). 
 
A minister of the Living Church of God prayed and anointed Bob Thiel for a ‘double portion’ of God’s Spirit back in late 2011 and told him that was reminiscent of what happened to Elisha. He also confirmed that God answered that prayer when we met in November 2019.

Gaylyn Bonjour had absolutely no intention of Bob ever flouncing off to start a new splinter personality cult. None whatsoever! No matter how hard Bwana Bob wants to lie that that was Bonjour's intention, it simply is not so. Living Church of God ministers will publicly state this fact and have many times.

Our self-appointed Eisha doubles down to say that the scriptures foretell his emergence in the end times. There isn't enough room deodorizer in the entire world that can cover up the stench of this steaming pile of bullshit!

But Jesus told of another Elijah to come after He left:

11 Jesus answered and said to them, “Indeed, Elijah is coming first and will restore all things. (Matthew 17:11)

The Church of God position has been that someone would come in the spirit and power of Elijah to “restore all things” and possibly be one of the two witnesses. While the late Herbert W. Armstrong (died in January 1986) sometimes indicated that he fulfilled that role, he told people that I have personally spoken with that there could be another other than he. Those with a WCG background might find the following quote from Herbert W. Armstrong of some assistance here as he wrote:

Those called into the Church were called not merely for salvation and eternal life, but to learn the way of God’s government and develop the divine character during this mortal life in the Church age…

Also Malachi 4:5-6 pictures the Elijah to come at the very end of the Church age (Mystery of the Ages. 1985, pp. 201, 349).

And when was the “Church age” supposed to end according to Herbert Armstrong’s old church? Notice:

God has set before us an open door and no MAN can shut it. God can shut it, and He will when the work is finished and the Philadelphia Church goes to a place of safety. …The Laodicean Church is not going to be worthy to escape to a place of safety. When it is too late, they will find that the Church of Philadelphia has gone to safety (What Is the “LAODICEAN CHURCH”? Good News August 1959 Vol. VIII, Number 8).

When Herbert Armstong's entire biblical interpretations were without basis or credibility, how can Bwana Bob claim succession to him? 

And when was the “Church age” supposed to end according to Herbert Armstrong’s old church? Notice:

God has set before us an open door and no MAN can shut it. God can shut it, and He will when the work is finished and the Philadelphia Church goes to a place of safety. …The Laodicean Church is not going to be worthy to escape to a place of safety. When it is too late, they will find that the Church of Philadelphia has gone to safety (What Is the “LAODICEAN CHURCH”? Good News August 1959 Vol. VIII, Number 8).

So beware brethren, you have been deceived by Satan himself for refusing to acknowledge Bwana Bob is the great man that he is, our Elisha, the only Church of God leader preordained before the foundations of the world were laid to lead the last remnant church. If you remain in another COG after reading this then you are too stupid to see who Bwana Bob is and deserve to suffer trials in the tribulation as he and his little remnant are in Petra where he has a captive audience to listen to his mind-numbingly boring sermons.

Those of the true and genuine Philadelphian remnant will pay much attention to the voice of the true final Elijah. Those who do not will not fare as well as they could (cf. Revelation 12:14-17). 
 
We in the Continuing Church of God have also a more sure word of prophecy; “whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts” (2 Peter 1:19, KJV).”

 




19 comments:

Anonymous said...

We've been waiting for over ten years for Bob to actually do something consequential. I'm reminded of the fact that everything in the universe is vibrating. Someone once asked, "What about that marble table top?" The answer came, "It too is vibrating. It is just that it is vibrating at such a low frequency that its vibration is imperceivable to man." I smiled when I read that! I thought to myself, "Yep! Just like Bob Thiel!"

Anonymous said...

Rod Meredith castrated Bob years ago when he refused to listen to him.

Anonymous said...

The wondrous Theilogian writes: "The Apostle John recorded that there would be two groups at the end and that one would flee and be protected from the Great Tribulation (Revelation 12:14-16) while the other would not be (Revelation 12:17)".

No the Apostle John did not. Verse 17 only states the dragon went to make war. The verse does not state anything about the "remnant of her seed" - (KJV) being protected or not being protected. One must carefully search the scriptures to see if the Thielisms are Biblical.

Ronco said...

Hey Dr Bob, it looks like you're newsworthy again... Enjoy your 15 minutes of shame, oops I mean fame.

RSK said...

Heh. So he's Elisha, who is a type of Elijah, who some people think is one of the two witnesses, and maaaaaybe HWA wasnt Elijah.
You can see where this twisting is going.

Anonymous said...

Instead of roasting the cog ministers, it would be wise to just show the errors.

Anonymous said...

"Instead of roasting the cog ministers, it would be wise to just show the errors."

Bob is not a legitimate minister and certainly is NOT Elisha. He lies when he says that.

Hoss said...

So the reason one should join Bob's CCOG is the assumption that only he will know when to flee? And only his members will be told? Okay, not making a public announcement would save some of the embarrassment when it's a false call.

Bob's "succession" to become Elijah from his anointing by Gaylyn Bonlour -- what gave Gaylyn the authority to do confer anything on him, apart from anointing for illness? Just asking...

Anonymous said...


Didn't the fleeing in Matthew 24 have to do with fleeing Jerusalem in 70 AD?

DW said...

IMHO, part of the problem with these lying men was HWA's misinterpretation of two fundamentals.

1. He taught the doctrine of soul sleep, which left the field wide open to modern day types of --------. Why did Herbert NOT BELIEVE God when He said Elijah did NOT die, rather was taken alive to Heaven, like Enoch? If HWA had not borrowed that one from Adventism, there wouldn't be this modern day plethora of false Elijahs.

2. If HWA had not taught another false doctrine of church eras, we would not have such confusion over who is "Philadelphians" and who is "Laodicean". Sometimes a mail route of 7 Mediterranean cities is just a mail route. Would anyone here think of these false leaders as lukewarm? If their deeds are lukewarm, I do not want to see Philadelphia.

Our littlest prophlet of all, will never see the truth. It is a foreign concept to him. He suffers from a terminal case of HWAitis that has infected all these men. Only known cure is Jesus.

Tonto said...

The only mantle that I recognize, and had the record to prove it, was...

MICKEY MANTLE !

Anonymous said...

"The Apostle John recorded that there would be two groups at the end and that one would flee and be protected from the Great Tribulation (Revelation 12:14-16), while the other would not be (Revelation 12:17)."

The scripture, er, actually does not say that. That is an unjustified and unjustifiable interpretation that comes out of the depths of Armstrongist apocalyptic Millerism. How it got there, I don't know. I have never seen a credible hermeneutic to support it.

From context the Woman refers to the Judaic community. She flees to the Wilderness. This credibly refers to the Jews fleeing into the Diaspora. Read some history. Verse 17 refers to the early Jewish Christians who were still pretty much liturgically incorporated in the Judaic community but, instead of following traditional Second Temple Judaism, were following Jesus' revelation of the New Testament - sitting elbow to elbow with other Jews in the Temple. They were the "rest of her children." They were also historically and ideologically connect to the Woman - the Judaic community and its varied beliefs.

Bare bones, the statement made is that "the Jews will flee to other countries and the Christians will be persecuted." Doesn't really say anything more than that. The idea that it means that zealous Armstrongists will be specially protected and the "Laodicean" Armstrongists will go into persecution is a leap of imagination, without exegesis, that has resulted in the quirky belief in the fabled "Place of Safety."

I have raised this issue before and it is interesting that many Armstrongists seem to have no interest in assessing this idea to determine if what the believe is really true. Like the vacuous followers of the Very Stable Genius - don't bother them with fact. What they lack in truth they make up (at least they seem to believe) with stubborness.

Note: Stubborness can masquerade as faith.

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RSK said...

I realize that this point has been made repeatedly, but the Church cant give birth to Christ. That alone should tell you that the COG interpretation is way off.

RSK said...

(For those who dont recall, for a time there Bob was hinting that he'd be one of the two witnesses and even trying to dress the part - he'd discerned somehow from Catholic writings that dark clothing was associated with those guys as well as being former Catholics, so he did lots of videos in a dark suit.)

RSK said...

You're looking for the "As Bereans Did" blog, but I believe it's defunct.

Anonymous said...

Could the WCG have simply fired Meredith when he was accused of slandering Mrs. McNair? Or would the church still be libel since RCM was acting as an employee of the church. I suspect that HWA held onto some people because they had dirt on him. He may have kept them on the payroll to buy their silence. But did RCM pose a threat to HWA? RCM may have stayed in the hope that he would be able to take control over HWAs' successor and get the church "back on track." So I can see him clinging on for as long as he could, but not why the WCG hadn't fired him. Most of these VPs and Evangelists probably knew they couldn't do better for their families outside the WCG, so they stayed as long as they could. But why were they kept by the church? How many of them had titles but no real duties? Someone with insight into the Personnel Dept. would have much of interest to share with us.

Anonymous said...

Anyone with any basic knowledge of the Old Testament knows about the prophets. They were men of deep conviction and faith ...

Actually, they were largely mythological figures fabricated by the Rabbinical deception apparatus which created a tribal religion to keep the Jews together by uniting them with a common religion distinct from that of neighboring tribes. Many bible narratives can be traced to earlier times and different peoples and places.

Anonymous said...

"Read some history."

And learn that many of the standard narratives are fake, self-serving and based on cherry-picked information. Just like the evening news.

Anonymous said...

Questions for the patented Bob Thiel magic 8 Ball (shake well before reading!)

When will the followers of Donald Trump initiate Civil War II?

When will Lake Mead, Lake Powell, the Great Salt Lake, and the Rio Grande River become dead pools?

When will David C. Pack's problems reach critical mass and result in the final collapse of the RCG?

When will the next devastating version of Covid 19 hit, renewing the wipeout big percentages of the population?

What major city will be the first to be inundated by rising sea levels, and bonus point, in what month and year will this occur?

Will Kim Jong Un actually use one of his nukes on a major population center?

There are additional questions one might ask, but these are enough to get things started. If anyone wants to place bets on any of these events, or on whether Bob's answers will be right or wrong, call 1(800) 555-1212. Bookies are waiting to assist you!