COG Prophet Claims Catholic "Prophecies" Are About Him And His Books

It is another sunny day in Grover Beach California and the heat is getting to the brain of our glorious Bwana Bob Theil, the savior of Africa and 299 Caucasians, the end-time Elijah, the modern-day Johsua, the prophet to end all prophets, one of the two witless witnesses, world-renown historian and theologian and bitter neglected rejected "stepson" of Rod Meredith.

Today, the closet Catholic is all atwitter over how supposedly certain Catholic "prophecies" describe him and his end-time "work".

While I do not believe that the sex scandals facing the Church of Rome are the ‘final trial’ before Jesus returns (e.g. since the Great Tribulation has not yet began), these scandals, which have been in the news for the past several years, may be consistent with certain Roman Catholic predictions. 

 

The Roman Catholics have a couple of prophecies about their church facing scandals:

Ven. Holzhauser (17th century): The Great Monarch will come when the Latin Church is desolated, humiliated, and afflicted with many heresies (Dupont Y. Catholic Prophecy: The Coming Chastisement. TAN Books, Rockford (IL), 1973, p. 114). 

 

Nicholas of Fluh (15th century): The Church will be punished because the majority of her members, high and low, will become so perverted. (Dupont, p. 30) 

 

We have seen that many perverted have been associated with the Church of Rome–one cleric has claimed that 2/3 of priests have broken their celibacy vows–see ‘Pope adviser urges rethink on Catholic celibacy’ Two-thirds of Catholic priests reportedly are NOT celibate(see also AP: More than 220 people sue on Guam alleging clergy sex abuse and NCR: In new letter, Benedict blames clergy abuse on sexual revolution, Vatican II theology; RN: Is Benedict XVI the REAL pope? and Pope reportedly considering allowing priests to marry at Amazon Synod; AP reports 1700 Catholic priests suspected of sex abuse are still out there). Here is one from this Summer: Another scandal: Roman Catholic priests outed for using homosexual app. These pedophile and other sex scandals have humiliated the Church of Rome (“the Latin Church”). 

 

So, if the first prediction above is correct, then we are very near the time that the “Great Monarch” will rise up. I believe he will do so this century, and likely within a decade or so.

To Bwana Bob, this Monarch is the end-time Beast who will persecute the one true small flock (the improperly named "continuing" Church of God). 

How will this Monarch know who to persecute in the COG movement above all others? It will be the COG that is publishing small books! Who woulda thunk it! Amazing! 

One guess as to WHO that small book publishing church is...

Notice also the following Roman Catholic warnings:

Nursing Nun of Bellay (died 1820): “All these things shall come to pass once the wicked have succeeded in circulating large numbers of bad books.” (Dupont, p.51) 

 

Trappistine Nun of Notre Dame des Gardes. “Chastisement will come when a very large number of bad books have been spread” (Dupont, p 114). 

 

Abbe Voclin. “People will speak only of money. Horrible books will be freely available. Intellectuals will argue fiercely among themselves. Then war will break out that will see the rise of the Great Monarch” (Dupont, p. 114). 

 

We in the CCOG will likely make more books/booklets that will be perceived to fulfill the above. Furthermore, several of our existing materials may be considered to be in that category. Here are links to some books, articles, and videos that document the truth about various aspects of Christianity and church history:

Bwana Bob has become quite adept at pulling things out of his ass and making them "sure words of truth".

Why would the Catholic church or some European Monarch care what some idiotic mentally disturbed little man in crazy California thinks? 

Grover Beach Crackpot Prophet Wants To Educate Vatican On Proper Church History

 

Things were already weird in Grover Beach California where the world's foremost historian, the most widely respected scientist, and the world-renowned authority on the Catholic Church lives. The Great Bwana to Africa and 299 Caucasians has dreamed up so many titles and accolades about himself that it is hard to keep track of them anymore. Being that he is self-ordained and not part of any apostolic succession, many consider him a fool beyond measure.

That self-appointed awareness has reached a new height today as the Great Bwana has decided he needs to educate officials at the Vatican about TRUE Church history (the Armstrongite version). This all comes about because the Vatican announced the other day that they were forming a commission to research into the early days of the church and the amazing history of that time.

This is the complete article that Bwana Bob quoted and edited out things he did not want you to read.

Vatican conference convenes experts to study early Christian history 

VATICAN CITY — A Vatican conference will gather both Christian and non-Christian historians and experts to delve deep into the history of the church in the first centuries of Christianity. 

 

Speaking to journalists at the Vatican press office Oct. 26, Norbertine Father Bernard Ardura, president of the Pontifical Committee for Historical Sciences, said the conference program was inspired by Pope Francis, who urged him "to work with scholars from all scientific backgrounds, from the most varied cultural sensibilities and from the most diverse historiographical methods." 

 

"Pope Francis insisted on the need for the committee to promote a fruitful collaboration in the scientific field, not only with Catholic academic institutions, but as well as with all historians and specialists in auxiliary sciences of history who are ready to work together in the search for the truth, taking into account only their scientific expertise," Father Ardura said. 

 

At the Oct. 27-29 conference, titled "Inquiry into the history of the first centuries of the church," will bring scholars from across Europe as well as India, Iraq, China and the United States to focus particularly on the first two centuries of Christianity. 

 

The two main historical accounts of the early church have several points of conflict, Father Ardura said. The first account is that of Eusebius of Caesarea, the fourth-century bishop who chronicled the church's development from the first century to the fourth century.

The Norbertine priest noted, however, that Eusebius' account of the first-century church was so similar to the Christian church that existed in the fourth century "as if it had always been as he knew it." 

 

"It is as if we were to say today that the early church was like that of the 21st century. It is obvious, instead, that there has been a development," Father Ardura said. 

 

The second historical account, he continued, was more in line with Martin Luther's perspective, which chronicles the "progressive degradation" of the church over the centuries until the Protestant Reformation. 

 

Father Ardura emphasized the importance of the conference in studying the church's history and searching for truth no matter where it may lead. However, he also noted that the conference is only the beginning. 

 

"We will not arrive at certain conclusions," Father Ardura said. "We want to give space to researchers who in various disciplines have acquired knowledge" of early Christian history.

The most amazing prophet to ever exist in Church of God history has this to say:

It would be fantastic if Bernard Ardura, president of the Pontifical Committee for Historical Sciences, really will pursue and accept the truth wherever it leads. Hopefully, his is not an ecumenical agenda, but real quest for truth–we shall see. I am considering contacting him and perhaps may try to meet with him someday.

Someone needs to give Bernard Ardura a heads up before he speaks to the greatest prophet the world has ever seen!

This is one more issue that is the cause of Rod Meredith and certain fools at LCG headquarters who stroked Bwana Bob's fragile ego by claiming he would be a thorn in the side of the Catholic Church. As if the Catholic Church would care what some whackjob cultist from California had to say!

 

Almost Arrested Ambiguious COG Prophet Says LCG Is Wrong

 

Never has the COG had a self-appointed prophet in their midst that pussy-foots around so much with his predictions as does the Great Bwana to Africa and 299 Caucasians. The prophets of old spoke without fear and forcefully, but not so with today's weak little prophets. It is always "what if", "could be", "possibly be", "might be", or a big fat "IF".

In his latest Co-worker letter, Gerald Weston of the Living Church of God had the following:

 I doubt that any of us can imagine how traumatic the next one to five years will be, but as Jesus encourages us, “Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near” (Luke 21:28). https://members.lcg.org/letters/co-worker/october-12-2021

Gerald Weston and I agree that the next 1 – 5 years will be quite traumatic.

While we need to look for the signs that Jesus laid out in Matthew 24, Mark 13, and Luke 21, let’s consider timing since Gerald Weston mentioned years.

Now it has been said that “if” is the biggest two-letter word in the English language. So:

1. If as the School of Elijah taught, that God inspired Elijah to state that the world as we have known it would last 6,000 years, to be followed by a thousand year sabbatical time, which Jewish tradition (Talmud, Tractate Sanhedrin [97a]) and early Christian traditions record (e.g. Irenaeus, a hearer of Polycarp. Adversus haereses, Book V, Chapter 30:4), then we are getting close to the end of that time.
2. And if, consistent with scriptures in both the Old and New Testaments, we can apply the concept that a thousand years is as a day to God (Psalm 90:4; 2 Peter 3:8).
3. And if, as generally understood in the Church of God that Jesus was killed and resurrected no later than the Spring of 31 A.D. on Passover.
4. And if we can presume that the “last days” of a 7,000 year prophetic week began AFTER the middle day (day 4), then the last days prior to the “sabbatical” time, which some would refer to as the millennial Kingdom of God would last two thousand years.
5. And if when Peter referred to being in the last days (Acts 2:17-18) and since Hebrews 1:1-12 teaches that “God … has in these last days spoken to us by His Son.”
6. Then adding 2,000 years to a period of time leads to the end of the 6,000 years no later than 2031 (and it could be earlier than that).
7. Since the Great Tribulation is expected to start 3 1/2 years prior to that (cf. Revelation 12:14; 13:5) subtracting 3 1/2 years from the Spring of 2031 would be late in 2027.
8. Understand that the U.S.A. is prophesied to be taken over near the rise of the Beast and start of the Great Tribulation (cf. Daniel 11:39; Jeremiah 30:7; Matthew 24:21-22).
9. Therefore, while Jesus is NOT coming in the next 1 -5 years, the USA and its British-descended allies could be gone by then (though it could be later)

We appear to be in the beginning of sorrows that Jesus spoke of.

The Great Tribulation is not too many years off from now.

COG Prophet Persecuted By Satan Once Again

 

Latter-day COG prophets are in the crosshairs of Satan who hates everything they do. Never has the church had a prophet that is persecuted as much as the Great Bwana to Africa and his 299 Caucasians. Just check out the intense persecution he had his leaders have been suffering lately.

Puerto Rico, Trials, and Triumphs


On September 26, 2021, Bob, Joyce, and David Thiel flew to Puerto Rico to meet with Spanish-speaking supporters of the Continuing Church of God who were gathered together for the Feast of Tabernacles. The Thiels encountered numerous tests and trials there as well as on their return to San Luis Obispo, California. In this sermon, Dr. Thiel mentions specific trials he and his family encountered on that trip including losses of electrical power, automotive failures, airline problems, and more. He also quotes scriptures from the Apostles, Peter, Paul, and James that Christians should expect trials and have the faith to not rebel like the ancient children of Israel did. Vaccine-complaints are discussed in the light of Jesus’ words in Mark 16:15-18 as well as Revelation 3:7. Dr. Thiel discusses some of the steps being taken and planned to reach more Spanish-speaking people. He also quotes Romans 11:25 and discusses the importance of not just being a witness to the world related to the gospel of the Kingdom of God, but also the necessity of the full number of Gentiles being converted before Jesus returns. He also quotes various leaders once in the old Radio/Worldwide Church of God on this topic. Dr. Thiel discusses that God will offer all salvation in this age or the age to come and that Gentiles being called and converted in this age will help the billions that will come up after the second resurrection. Dr. Thiel quotes the Apostle Paul who wrote, “God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.”

Is Crackpot Prophet The Modern Day Elijah and One of the Two Witless Witnesses?

 

It is so comforting to know that God has been working behind the scenes to make Bob Thiel the greatest COG leader the church has ever seen in its entire history and who is behind the most superfantabulous COG to ever exist! Our God is an awesome God! 

Anyway, the Great Bwana to Africa and 299 Caucasians has a new article up trying to prove that his church and that he could possibly be the end-time Elijah and one of the two witless witnesses. Sadly, Thiel is just one more in a long line of men (and a couple women) down through the last 80 years of the Church of God movement that has claimed such mantles. Like all the others before him, he is not Elijah and not one of the two witless witnesses. Besides, Ron and Laura Weinland have already claimed that honor.

The Great Bwana and the official true dreamer of the Church of God has this to say:

Although people like the discredited Ron Weinland and David Pack have claimed to be ‘Elijah,’ neither of them are. 

 

Yet, the Bible does show that there will be an ‘Elijah’ who is alive before Jesus returns and that it is likely that he will be one of the two witnesses. And as Jesus is likely to return within the next couple of decades, it is reasonable to consider that he must be alive today. 

 

Could he be one who has restored information on church history, doctrine, prophecy, and the reason that God created anything? Could he be one reaching people around the world with the Gospel of the Kingdom of God in nearly 100 different languages? Or has God not chosen to have him do much at this stage?

Well, that is the $64,000 question! 

Could it have been Herbert Armstrong? Nope!

Those with a WCG background might find the following quote from Herbert W. Armstrong of some assistance here as he wrote:

I have been asked “Are you the Elijah?” And I say “No.” (Armstrong, Herbert W. Congress of Leading Ministers Hears Defined and Reemphasized Spiritual Organization of Church. Worldwide News, March 6, 1981, p. 10)

Never fear though, the Great Bwana is setting us to know just who might be the end-time Elijah and one of the two witless witnesses:

HWA, himself, wrote:

Jesus shall come, SOON NOW, to RESTORE ALL THINGS! He did NOT restore all things when he first came. John the Baptist did not “restore all things.” But the one who was to “restore all things” just before the “day of the Lord” and preparing the way for Christ’s second coming, was YET to come, in the future, as Jesus said. Now what are the “all things” to be RESTORED? “Restitution” means restore to a former state or condition (Armstrong HW. Brethren & Co-Worker Letter, August 24, 1982). 

 

Note that HWA states ONE (Elijah) comes just before the day of the Lord—an event that still has not occurred, hence some additional restoration beyond what HWA did is needed–and this has been happening in the Continuing Church of God. CCOG has restored more than any COG in the 21st century and under the human leadership of Bob Thiel it continues to do so. In time, God will make the final Elijah clear to all willing to see (this is NOT saying that he MUST be Bob Thiel–but we believe it will be a leader in CCOG).

The Great Bwana then trots out Herbert Armstrong, again...

Furthermore, it should be noted that a careful reading of another one of HWA’s articles supports the idea that the Philadelphia era will need to have something else be restored. HWA wrote:

This very WORK OF GOD for our day is foretold in the prophecy of Revelation 3:7-13. But there it is revealed that we, today, are a people of but little strength – little power (verse 8)! – within ourselves though we have faithfully KEPT GOD’S WORD! The impact of this WORK OF GOD today is going out only through the power of God! Are you having your part in this very WORK OF GOD? But – let’s face it! – WE DO NOT HAVE WITHIN OURSELVES, AS GOD’S INSTRUMENTS FOR HIS WORK TODAY, ANYWHERE NEAR THE POWER OF GOD THAT ACTIVATED THAT ORIGINAL FIRST-CENTURY CHURCH! For that very reason, the living Christ says (verse 8), He has opened to us the gigantic door of MASS COMMUNICATION! The magnified power of the microphone and the printing press. Yet that is only physical, mechanical power! The REAL POWER that makes God’s Work vital and alive is the Holy Spirit of God! (Armstrong HW. Christians Have Lost Their POWER! Plain Truth, Jun 1958).

The Greek word translated as strength, dunamis, which HWA refers to as power, is the same Greek word that is normally translated as ‘miracle’ or ‘miracles’. Thus, Revelation 3:8 shows that the Philadelphia Church will have some type of miracles, and although I agree with HWA’s position that the initial power/miracle had to do with electronic media, I also agree with him that the old WCG did not have, “ANYWHERE NEAR THE POWER OF GOD THAT ACTIVATED THAT ORIGINAL FIRST-CENTURY CHURCH.” Thus, HWA acknowledged, howbeit indirectly, that the power of God had not been fully restored to his WCG. And it should be noted that dreams and gifts of prophecy were given to the first-century church (Acts 2:17-18) and thus, according to his own writing, there should be these type of occurrences at the end. One group in the 21st century has that (see Dreams, the Bible, the Radio Church of God, and the ContinuingChurch of God and How To Determine If Someone is a True Prophet of God).

A failed prophet quoting another failed prophet. Two wrongs do not make Bwana Bob right.

The Great Bwana concludes while whining once again like a third-grade school girl that COG members continue to ignore him. Everyone's salvation is at stake for failing to acknowledge Bwana Bob as the Chosen One, the leader of the most incredible COG in human history, and that he is the most educated leader that has ever led any COG since Elijah himself walked the earth.

The Elijah’s restoring of “all things” means that he is to be restoring information that the true Church of God once understood, but later must have lost or misunderstood. 

 

The problem is that just as many would not hear Elijah’s or John the Baptist’s messages, relatively few will pay much attention to the end time Elijah as well.

 

Crackpot Prophet Delivers A Feast Sermon As Bad Or Worse Than You Could Have Ever Imagined

If you thought the bouncing and flouncing Bob was bad when he was sitting down, just take a look at a few minutes of the start of his sermon. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

Vain Crackpot Prophet Wants You To Know How Big And Thick It Is...

 

A reader here pointed out something that I missed when skimming through Bwana Bob's superfantabulous "Behind the Curtains Work" film…

The Great Bwana to Africa and 299 Caucasians believes that we should be impressed by his LARGE book and its THICKNESS. Never in the history of the Church of God has there been a story written about its history than the one Bwana Bob has finished. We are to be astounded at his magnificence and the extreme knowledge that he possesses, which should lead us to bow down at the feet of the one true messenger that God has sent to us in these perilous end times. No Church of God leader has ever possessed as much knowledge as the Great Bwana to Africa. Dave Pack and Gerald Flurry have been seen whimpering in the dark recesses of their offices at the mention of Bob Thiel's name.

Are you impressed?

Crackpot COG Prophet Delivers The Most Awful "Behind the Work" Film Ever Created In The History Of The Church

Touting the most documented history of the church ever written in human history with a new book in a "high-quality" video production.

 

The Great Bwana has developed a nervous tick that whenever he lies, he rubs his nose, in between the bouncing in this chair and the flailing of his arms and hands.

Anyone who was in the Worldwide Church of God during the glory days, or even in some of the larger splinter groups will remember how slick and professional the Behind the Work films were. While the sheep looked at these as proof of a mighty work, they were actually mass propaganda of an already dysfunctional church covering up its sins.

Even today, in 2021, LCG, RCG, and PCG have slick production made annually to keep their members enthused and ready to open their wallets.

And, this brings us to the most amazing Church of God to exist in human history, a work so amazing that God has supposedly doubly blessed its prophet with the greatest mind the church has ever seen. There is no more glorious work on the face of the earth today and thanks to that, no one would have ever know the correct time to flee to Petra or some other god-forsaken place in the Jordanian desert for 3 1/2 years of mind-numbing torture by having to listen to him preach.

Thanks to his awesomeness, he has produced a video about his amazing work which is actually a back-slapping narcissistic snow job of lies and half-truths all about himself.

If you dare, you can watch this shitshow here:

Rabbi Thiel Declares: "No, Temple Institute, it is NOT the year 5782":

Rabbi Thiel corrects the Jews who don't even know their own scriptures.

No, Temple Institute, it is NOT the year 5782

The Temple Institute had the following in its latest newsletter:

“See now that it is I! I am the One”

(Deuteronomy 32:39)

Tishrei 9, 5782 …

New Moon Over Israel Marking The New Year Of 5782! … The new year of 5782 is off to a great start …

5782 is supposedly how many years ago Adam was created (the Jews call it 5782 anno mundi, for ‘years of the world’). That is wrong.

No, Temple Institute, it is NOT the year 5782.

The Jewish year claim confuses many people as the numbers do not add up with scripture.

....blah blah blah

(Read entire article if you wish to challenge your sanity)

The Rabbi Amos continues...

"While I do not agree with all that is asserted in the above, the author is correct that the dating issue with the Jews seemed to be deliberate. Consider also the following prophecy:

4 … Their lies lead them astray, Lies which their fathers followed. (Amos 2:4)

4 … And their lies have caused them to err, After which their fathers did walk. (Amos 2:4, JPS)

4 … their lies caused them to fall into error and live the way their ancestors did. (Amos 2:4, CJB)

Many peoples have chosen to rely on lies, sometimes called tradition (though not all traditions are based on lies), instead of acting on the truth.

It Jews would accept the truth over tradition, they also would realize that Jesus is the Messiah. For details, check out the first three chapters of the free online book: Proof Jesus is the Messiah."

(Note: A simple "Why don't the Jews accept Jesus as Messiah" search will make why this is so plain)

The Rabbi continues...

"It is not just the Jews that misunderstand years. Related to a period that some, like the Messianic Protestant Jonathan Cahn, say that starting sunset September 6, 2021, we entered a Shemitah year and this supposedly has prophetic implications. "

(Note: Does Rabbi Thiel need a refresher on New Testament thoughts on getting twisted up in genealogies as if he could know? )

8This saying is trustworthy. And I want you to emphasize these things, so that those who have believed God will take care to devote themselves to good deeds. These things are excellent and profitable for the people. 9But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, arguments, and quarrels about the law, because these things are pointless and worthless. 10Reject a divisive man after a first and second admonition,…

Titus 3:9

Alas, Rabbi Thiel dives into the numbers, which of course, by his own admission at the end of his article, he admits...

"Yet, because that years of life are not exact (few people are born and die on the precisely same calendar date–hence there could possibly be 10 or so additional years)"

"As far as the years go, here is some of the biblical genealogy for the first portion from Genesis 5 (last verse from Genesis 7):

3 And Adam lived one hundred and thirty years, and begot a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth.

6 Seth lived one hundred and five years, and begot Enosh.

9 Enosh lived ninety years, and begot Cainan.

12 Cainan lived seventy years, and begot Mahalalel.

15 Mahalalel lived sixty-five years, and begot Jared.

18 Jared lived one hundred and sixty-two years, and begot Enoch.

21 Enoch lived sixty-five years, and begot Methuselah.

25 Methuselah lived one hundred and eighty-seven years, and begot Lamech. 26

28 Lamech lived one hundred and eighty-two years, and had a son. 29 And he called his name Noah…

7:11 In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, on that day all the fountains of the great deep were broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened. NKJV.

Added up, this equals 1656 years (so, some might call this 1656 anno mundi, 1656 AM, 1656 ‘years of the world’). This would mean that the flood was about 4,345 years ago.

Now, here is the next portion of genealogies from Genesis 11:

10 This is the genealogy of Shem: Shem was one hundred years old, and begot Arphaxad two years after the flood.

12 Arphaxad lived thirty-five years, and begot Salah.

14 Salah lived thirty years, and begot Eber.

16 Eber lived thirty-four years, and begot Peleg.

18 Peleg lived thirty years, and begot Reu.

20 Reu lived thirty-two years, and begot Serug.

22 Serug lived thirty years, and begot Nahor.

24 Nahor lived twenty-nine years, and begot Terah.

26 Now Terah lived seventy years, and begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran.

32 So the days of Terah were two hundred and five years, and Terah died in Haran.

Added up, this equals 427 years (2+35+30+34+30+32+30+29+205=427), so 2083 Anno Mundi. The age of Terah when Abraham was born has also been debated (see section later called The Age of Terah at the Time of Abram’s Birth), though is not part of the above calculation.

Galatians 3:17 shows 430 years; while 1 Kings 6:1 shows 480 years from the exodus from Egypt to the fourth year of Solomon’s reign (this, by the way, would make the Exodus as occurring in 1446 B.C., which is 966 + 480; 

For more details see When was the Exodus?).

(Note: It never happened as advertised so when it never happened as advertised is moot)

Rabbi Thiel sums it all up...

"Therefore, if we add up 1,656 + 427 + 24 + 430 + 480 + 966, this suggests...

Waffle Alert!

Whoa! Wait a Minute!  "Suggests"?  I thought this was the definitive proof that the year 5782 is for sure WRONG!?

"...the creation of Adam or his departure from Eden was around 3983 BC. Yet, because that years of life are not exact (few people are born and die on the precisely same calendar date–hence there could possibly be 10 or so additional years), this could be off somewhat–but it does give a biblical indication of when the end is coming."

(Note: "Is the New Testament correct in asserting?...

8This saying is trustworthy. And I want you to emphasize these things, so that those who have believed God will take care to devote themselves to good deeds. These things are excellent and profitable for the people. 9But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, arguments, and quarrels about the law, because these things are pointless and worthless. 10Reject a divisive man after a first and second admonition,…

Titus 3:9

...asking for a friend

A Bunch of Bull-a! PCG's Gerald Flurry "Reveals" How an Ancient Clay Seal Heralds The Return of Donald Trump

A Bunch of Bull-a! 

PCG's Gerald Flurry "Reveals" How an Ancient Clay Seal 

Heralds The Return 

of 

Donald Trump

A Tiny Artifact Proclaims a Powerfully Encouraging Message

In the same publication of "The Trumpet" as previously posted, an article by PCG leader Flurry delves deeper into his manufactured reasons for connecting Jeroboam II in 2 Kings, with former President Donald Trump, who was democratically elected out of office last year.

Let's see if we can follow his iron-clad logic here. It seems that, during the 1980s, a "bulla", a type of clay seal, turned up in Israel in the possession of a Bedouin antiquities dealer, the seal bearing the words: "Belonging to Shema the servant of Jeroboam", together with an image of a roaring lion. Please remember the roaring lion.

The artifact was originally suspected to be fake, as is often the case, but careful examination has been carried out recently over the last 5 years and has led experts to conclude last December that it is, in fact, authentic. Interestingly enough from an archeological standpoint, this indicates that someone named Jeroboam seems to have existed and had at least one slave.

But for Gerald Flurry, this is so much more than an interesting ancient artifact - it's a strategically timed sign from God, that his wacky connect-the-dot style prophetic ideas are all true!

"For more than four years, I have explained that United States President Donald Trump fulfills a role prophesied in the Bible of an end-time King Jeroboam."

Hold on, let's hear him out... Pastor General Flurry knows this must be true because... lion on the bulla and Twitter memes!

"To many of his supporters ... Donald Trump possesses the qualities of a lion. Last year, one of these supporters posted a photo on Twitter of the president casting a shadow of a lion. (Remarkably, the shape of the image was similar to the one inscribed on the Jeroboam seal.) The message praised Mr. Trump as having “the courage of a lion.”

There we have it, folks, and after all who could argue against some random Trump supporter posting something on the internet? If they say Trump is a lion, and this ancient bulla seal has a lion image on it, well, that pretty much wraps it all up, doesn't it? Trump must be Jeroboam, it's just obvious.

And if this isn't already enough solid rock evidence, Flurry also seems to think that Trump has actually, in fact, been roaring like a lion since he left office!

"In spite of what virtually everyone believes, Mr. Trump’s job is not over. Since the 2020 election, he has been roaring like a lion. This is the message God wants us to take from the Jeroboam bulla: God is not done using Mr. Trump!"

Yes, roaring, my friends, whatever that means! Therefore, the bulla is a message from God to us, about Trump! How could we have been so blind?

And finally, he repeats his previous prediction that Trump will be back (probably by mutiny of the military and secession of Red states as he has "explained" previously):

"Donald Trump is going to return. When he does, a lot of people, especially the Jews, will be pleased. But when this happens, we must remember Amos 7 and 2 Kings 14. God will be the one behind Mr. Trump and what he accomplishes!"

So again, it seems that concrete predictions have been made. But he who makes predictions must also answer for them when they don't come to pass.

And while Flurry seems to be quite excited about this tiny little clay seal, it's not like similar such finds with various ancient names aren't found all the time in archaeological digs. What if this bulla seal is just another old bulla which happened to be found in the 1980s, and not some invented prophetic signal? And what if Flurry's enduring hope that Trump is reinstated by military insurrection is just a wacky idea that has more "bull" in it than bulla?

Submitted by Michael

PCG's "The Trumpet" Trumps Again: Donald Trump To Be Reinstated As President By Mutinous Military Leaders!

One thing most Americans can probably agree on, whether left or right on the political spectrum, is that the entire 20-year engagement in Afghanistan was a huge monumental failure, a waste of money with little to show for it but a 2 trillion dollar windfall for the military industry.

Nevertheless, it has ended, and while there's plenty of blame to be assigned, Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God has one of the more nutty interpretations, as usual, making wild guesses disguised as prophetic predictions in their flagship publication, The Trumpet:

You see, this ending of the war is likely going to provoke a "military uprising" by the US military against the Biden administration, leading to a military action that will reinstate Donald Trump as the rightful President, or possibly with him leading a secession of states from the union! ("President Trump could also lead some states to secede from the union. That would lead to some kind of warfare.") "How Afghanistan Could Help Donald Trump Return to the Presidency"

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, this is not a political post, as I understand that Banned is not a political blog. And Flurry can have his political views as he likes, but he goes far into crazy land when he writes things like this. And, unbelievably, he goes digging for scriptures to somehow support his wide-eyed theories [as quoted in the article]:

“Verse 28 of 2 Kings 14 strongly indicates that Mr. Trump recovers his presidency by some kind of warring—not voting,” Mr. Flurry wrote. “It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024—unless there would be some kind of war and voting combined.”

Really, if he thinks the scribal writers of 2 Kings had the slightest interest in trying to guess, or even conceive of, what would happen over 2000 years after their time, he might as well read The Hobbit and try to map events in Middle Earth to modern world events.

 

"It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024", Flurry says.

The only thing that we can say for sure is that 2024 is definitely going to come along. So we expect a full retraction from the PCG and The Trumpet if (when) no such civil war takes place and Trump is NOT the president, because their private interpretation of scripture is just nutty and wishful thinking on their part.

 

If the COG splinters would stop trying to shoehorn ancient writings to make them somehow portray whatever the current event of the day is, they would look a lot less ridiculous than they do. The writers of 2 Kings wrote in their time, about their time, and for their time, not about our time. How much clearer could 2 Kings 14:28 be? [as quoted by Flurry]:

“Now the rest of the acts of Jeroboam, and all that he did, and his might, how he warred, and how he recovered Damascus, and Hamath, which belonged to Judah, for Israel, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel?”

Are the writers not clear enough that this is what "Jeroboam ... did"? Not what Trump or any other celebrity "will do". The writers are explicitly saying that all that "Jeroboam" did, how he warred, recovered "Damascus", for "Israel", is what we wrote here and in the other chronicles. How silly do you have to be to think they're talking about Donald Trump? They clearly specified who they were talking about. Obviously, they were writing history (whether accurate or not is another issue), for purposes relating to their own time and their own issues and problems. 

But no, Flurry breathlessly insists, this verse says that Mr. Trump will recover his presidency!

I hate to break it to him, but it doesn't indicate what anybody does in the future. Read it, Gerald - notice that it's written in the *past tense*.

"Jeroboam ... warred... recovered". NOT: "[Some end-time] Jeroboam ... will war .. will recover". Past history, not future prophecy.

In WCG circles you might be able to get away with this, but people who haven't been conditioned to read past tense passages in some sort of superimposed future tense way [why, he's a TYPE of Jeroboam!], can see how ridiculous you sound, Trumpet publishers. You're not going to grow your tithe base that way, at least not in today's world.

On second thought, keep it up, as it will help those all-important tithes to shrivel up...

Submitted by...Michael

RCG: God Is Looking Into The Hearts of LAZY RCG Members Who Are Not Participating In The "Loose Change Challenge"

 

UPDATED: Dave Pack Humiliated Again: Another Logic-Challenged Dave Pack Video Exposed

 

Updated: part of the original post was missing below

Submitted by Michael:

YouTube critic Paulogia has done another episode on breaking down the nonsense of a David C. Pack (DCP) video, as usual with research and well-done graphics behind it.

Most here will probably agree that Dave is one doozy of a blowhard, charlatan, and tyrant, even bordering on if not psychotic, but here Paulogia is only dealing with the logical non-sequiturs and sloppy arguments in one particular DCP video.

Some notable time points:

 

at 1:16, DCP states:

"Any true god would never leave his creation - mankind - in doubt about whether he exists"

 

This is quite the statement from Pack, and I wonder whether he realizes that he's making an argument *against* his own position here? Since it's an undeniable fact that agnostics/atheists exist (we must all agree that they exist, whether or not one agrees with their position), there is clearly a portion of mankind that is at least "in doubt about whether he exists". And Pack is arguing that no true god would ever allow this situation to occur. (What conclusion does that suggest, Dave?)

at 7:00, DCP makes the following shocking statement:

"Now think hard, who is more intelligent, God who made perfect food, or men who find every possible way to alter and degrade it before consuming it?"

 

As Paulogia notes, the very foods shown in DCP's own video are decidedly *not* foods as "created by God", but were bred and artificially selected by generations of humans to be more palatable and convenient (bananas, apples, avocados, etc.). The original versions of these were almost inedible, or at least not as pleasurable and nutritious as their current forms.

 

And altering foods is often the only possible way to consume them. For example, try to eat rice or wheat off the plant without considerable processing and cooking. The statement by DCP simply makes no logical or practical sense.

Not a logical fallacy, but just had to chuckle at this at 22:50:

"I have *personally* seen a photograph of [Lucy's] supposed skeleton...."  

As if viewing a photograph (probably on the internet) somehow gives DCP extra credence? Honestly, I thought he was going to say something like he had personally seen Lucy's bones at the National Museum of Ethiopia, but no, not even that lol, just "I have personally seen a photograph", as have hundreds of millions of other people on this planet. What was the point, really, of that boast?

Those interested can view the video if desired, but WCGers, in particular, will appreciate how DCP ends his videos:

"Until next time this is David C. Pack saying: Goodbye friends",

Which is funny, because it never ceases to amaze how some of the splinters feel they have to emulate HWA in every single facet, yes, even in using the exact wording to sign off lol. Even down to using the middle initial, as "Herbert W. Armstrong" used to do. That is one sign of those in a cult, wanting to emulate their cult hero in every form possible.

All in all, DCP drags out old, poorly researched points, most quoted from popular books that have been critiqued and debunked in the past ad nauseum.

Incidentally, the original DCP video has a sizable 623,000 views, what's up with that? And RCG site has 193,000 subscribers? This seems awfully fishy for a splinter which can't possibly have more than 10K members if that many.

Here is the first article we did on this series by Paulogia if you missed it: 

Dave Pack Gets Annihilated In New Video Examining His "Does God Exist?" Video

Crackpot Fake COG Prophet Tells Others To Not Be Deceived By Other Crackpot False COG Prophets In The Church

One thing the perfect restoration of 1st-century Christianity that so many COG's believe they are today is that it has proven to be the most unbelievably screwed up era in the history of the COG movement. Never has the church been filled with so many self-appointed apostles, prophets, visionaries, and channelers of dreams than what we have today. Herbert Armstrong had no idea what his rebellion against the COG7 would accomplish in the long run. That spirit of rebellion entered the church from the onset and has been wreaking havoc ever since. Each and every one of these beta-men claims they are the most incredible prophet the church has ever seen. Each of them has the answer to everything and everyone else is wrong.

This all brings us once more to the world's foremost sought-after historian and theologian. No COG prophet has ever been this intelligent in the history of the church. No COG prophet has ever been more accurate than this man, though being a beta-man, he is too afraid to make a definitive statement on anything but yet still expects us to believe his prophetic mental verbosity. 

Today our great savior of Africa and end time Amos, Elijah, Elisha, Joshua, and the only doubly-blessed prophet of God in human history is back telling us that the end is not here (at least not for 3 or more years) and that Satan is so angry with him that there are malcontents out there that are imitating him and his greatness. So be warned, you could be deceived by other COG false prophets trying to be like him, Bob Thiel, the epitome of prophethood greatness!

The Great Bwana of Africa and 299 Caucasians writes: 

Many have been influenced by political matters to believe that the end (meaning the Great Tribulation) is going to happen within the next 2-3 years. It will not. 

 

Furthermore, consider that Jesus taught:

5 Take heed that no one deceives you. 6 For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am He,’ and will deceive many. 7 But when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be troubled; for such things must happen, but the end is not yet. 8 For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be earthquakes in various places, and there will be famines and troubles. These are the beginnings of sorrows. (Mark 13:5-8) 

 

While many events are aligning with biblical prophecies, the end is not yet. 

It is always fun to watch COG prophets quote Jesus with the above scriptures. This is one of the few times they quote the guy and it is always to warn others about liars and false prophets in the church, NEVER that they themselves are the very people Jesus is speaking out against!

Some are caught up with political and other changes which influence them tell others that the end is sooner than it is or that certain political policies are more important than they are in the overall light of God’s plan. 

Or that weather and natural disasters are God's punishment for sinful humanity. Which is always a sure sign of the end times.

The Bible teaches:

12 Do not say, ‘A conspiracy,’ Concerning all that this people call a conspiracy, Nor be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. (Isaiah 8:12) 

 

It is not that Satan is not conspiring, but understanding certain ‘conspiracies’ is simply not relevant for Christians. 

 

While prophetic events are going on, there is still time before the end, and there still are false prophets.

In the Church of God, everyone is always a false prophet in charge of a competing splinter group, but NEVER, NEVER, is it the person doing the badmouthing.

The Great Bwana then goes on to claim:

We in the Continuing Church of God strive to always rely on the Bible for our prophetic understandings and teachings. Because of that:

19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts. (2 Peter 1:19, KJV) 

 

We have been correct on what we have actually taught on prophetic matters.

What a steaming pile of prophetic bullcrap! The only prophetic understanding the improperly named "continuing" Church of God proclaims is the mental shenanigans of Bob Thiel's delusional mind. God has no more sent dreams to Bob than he has to Dave Pack. No one and I repeat NO ONE should ever believe Bob Thiel's beta-man prophecies.

So what has stirred Bob up this time that he needs to make these statements? Apparently, someone is circulating a video that many think comes from him. Though in Bob's mind "many" is most likely one or two people.

Bwana Bob warns that people should beware of videos not produced by his mindboggling world headquarters located in a dingy storefront in the Five Cities area of central CA.

 

 

Well, yesterday someone not part of CCOG asked me if a video that one or more CCOG members were promoting/circulating was produced by us. I responded that it was not from the CCOG. But this person had thought that it may have.

Please be careful about tying CCOG in with emails and videos that you might send that we have not produced here in the Five Cities Region of California, which is where our world headquarters is located. Also, be careful about speculations–they should be identified as such. 

Bwana Bob is concerned about the speculations of others yet every single thing he says is pure speculation. From prophecy to bible interpretations, nothing he says is backed up by scripture, news stories, or prophetic visions. NOTHING!  

Sadly, in this day and age in the Church of God, we are witnesses to some of the biggest liars the church has ever had in its midst. More false prophets exist in the Church of God today than there has been since HWA started it.

It Is An Ungrateful Job Being A COG Prophet

 

Zerubbabel 11 months ago

It has been a rough road for self-appointed Church of God prophets down through the decades. Widely ignored and mocked, these know-it-alls dispense one idiotic prophecy/predicition after another. Each year that passes the church is filled with more and more of these fools.

Above is Michael Noordhoek, aka Zerbbabel. This walking freak of nature was the same guy who a couple years ago said he was impregnating his daughter with the holy man child to come.

Noordhoek is in the same graduating class as Bob Thiel and this is the future look of Bob Thiel a few more years down the line:

Zerubbabel - August 2021

It looks like Zerub has never washed his outfit in the past year. Imagine how he stinks since he lives in the desert!

Apparently, he never raised the 280 million dollars he was looking for when he set up a Gofundme page and therefore is unable to buy new clothes. Of course, the local Walmart probably does not sell prophets clothing like this anymore, especially since the pandemic has hit and supply chains are disrupted.

COG Zerubbabel Starts 280 Million Dollar Go Fund Me Page

Sadly, Michael Noordhoek is not an anomaly. Why is the Church of God filled with so many idiots like what we have today? Can Bob Thiel answer that question?

For a hilarious bit of fun fast forward to the 2:15 mark and watch his clothing malfunction...