Saturday, November 12, 2011

Jesus and John Allen Say $1,000 A Month Gets You In On Plan "B"



God has been busy lately talking to Ron Weinland, Dave Pack and our Costa Rican Prophet, M. John Allen.  Trouble is, the voices Ron and Dave's have been hearing have proven not to be God's.  Now what about  Allen?  Is God speaking to him or are there other voices speaking to him?

Yet once again, we have another prophet that has God telling him all kinds of hidden knowledge.

Many of the new truths God is revealing to my mind on almost a daily basis
now will simply astound you, and I have only begun to teach this
information to you. But, stay tuned as the ride has only begun. However,
the core truths God revealed to His Apostle, Herbert W. Armstrong remain
as a bedrock and foundation for what God is now revealing to His people,
and, as I have learned over the years, whenever I second guess Mr.
Armstrong, it is usually I, not he,that is in error.

Remember that this is the newest COG prophet that is going to ask all of his members to be donating $1,000 a month in order to be a part of his glorious end time work.  Well, things aren't so rosy for the prophet:

As a personal note, I was forced to seek full time employment because of
my extreme financial distress, which, by the way, reminds me of the years
of grinding poverty that Mr. Armstrong experienced at the start of his work.

Looks like he has no one to support his visionary/delusional message.  I was going to call it a ministry, but it is such an idiotic belief system that no minister in their right mind would even be association with it.

But just so you know, Satan had his hand in this job situation.  Satan is attempting to destroy the start of a might work (again).

Once again, I was wrongfully terminated abruptly yesterday, and, as you
can imagine, working a full time job leaves minimal time left for the deep
prayer, meditation, and study that is needed at this point.

But was it Satan or the dumb sheep?  Once again we get to see a Prophet of Armstrongism blaming the members for his hardships. You fools that refuse to mail in $1,000.00 a month are the cause of this man's hardship now.  He has to get off his lazy ass and get a job!

Yet, brethren, because the majority of you are NOT obeying God's financial laws on tithing, and the fact that many of you are so spiritually blind [as Revelation 3 states in the letter to Laodicea], most of you seem to be so blind spiritually that you couldn't tell where Yahweh is really working if it bit you in the nose.

Shame on you all!

He continues on in a typical COG pattern. Blame, shame and attack.

I am issuing a final warning to those of you who smugly and ignorantly
consider yourselves to be "rich and in need of nothing," that, as it says
in Rev. 3, you had better hurry up and apply God's eye salve to your eyes
lest you be cast into the Tribulation along with this world's people.
I am very concerned about where the vast majority of you are headed, but,
there is only so much I or Jesus Christ can do to wake you up. And, while
some of you seem to be entertained by the messages God is bringing you
through me, you don't seem to be motivated to take action on these issues
and help hold up my hands as is your duty given to you by God Himself.

After the above ranting you would think that would be enough to wake up the sleeping brethren.  However, he hilariously continues on:


And, in order to do that, I can't be fooling around with full time jobs
and other worldly distractions, yet, I've got bills to pay just like the
rest of you. However, how can I move this Work forward to where it needs
to be if I don't even have enough money to buy food and have shelter for
myself, let alone have the resources that I need to move things to the
next level where they belong?

Sad to say, in this world, things operate on money, and when you don't
have enough money coming in to meet your daily personal expenses, it is
not possible to expand the Work under those circumstances.

I AM NOT GOING TO KEEP BEATING A DEAD HORSE

Simply put, I have reached the end of my rope financially. YOU, if you
are not following God's financial instructions, have to share in the blame
for this situation, and, frankly, just like Jesus Christ, my impulse is to
just VOMIT YOU LAODICEANS OUT OF MY MOUTH IN TOTAL DISGUST.

Vomit us out of his mouth?????????????????????

You Laodiceans are BLIND, SPIRITUALLY, YET YOU ARE IN A HAUGHTY ATTITUDE, THINKING YOU ARE RICH SPIRITUALLY, WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY BLIND AND PITIFUL.

YOUR SAVIOR IS GOING TO VOMIT YOU OUT OF HIS MOUTH UNLESS YOU REPENT, AND, FRANKLY, I AM SO FED UP WITH YOUR ATTITUDE THAT I AM AT THE POINT OF TURNING MY BACK ON YOU, AS CHRIST IS ALSO ABOUT TO DO! YOU HAVE BEEN
WARNED, YET YOU STILL ARE NOT LISTENING, SO YOU ARE ON THE VERGE OF GETTING THE "OR ELSE" JUST LIKE THE SINFUL AND WICKED NATIONS YOU LIVE IN.

Yes, all CAPS makes us stand up and pay attention.  Yes sirree!  I have that check book out right now!  I just love being shouted at.

All of you stupid idiots have only yourselves to blame.  Because of your unfaithfulness Prophet Allen is going to "refound" a new church and dump all you  loser along side the road.

I am getting ready, therefore, to REFOUND THIS WORK WITH NEW PEOPLE AND ALLOW YOU LAODICEANS TO SUFFER WHATEVER FAITS YOU HAVE BROUGHT ON YOURSELVES.
God CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE. In fact, He has instructed me to GIVE YOU THIS ONE FINAL WARNING:

THOSE WHO REFUSE TO CONTRIBUTE TO GOD'S
WORK SHOULD BE CUT OFF FROM THE SPIRITUAL FOOD THEY NEED TO SURVIVE THE TOUGH TIMES AHEAD. IF THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO CONTRIBUTE TO HIS WORK, THEN NEITHER SHOULD THEY DERIVE ANY BENEFITS FROM HIS WORK!

GOD HAS THEREFORE LED ME TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING SERIOUS DECISION, BECAUSE THIS WORK MUST GROW AND PROSPER NOW, BUT IF WE ARE CASTING OUR PEARLS BEFORE SWINE WE WILL CONTINUE TO SPIN OUR WHEELS LIKE WE HAVE DONE FOR YEARS NOW. THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE, AND IT IS GOING TO CHANGE RIGHT NOW!

So what is going to happen to all of you loser who STILL refuse to give him money?

AND, FRANKLY, IF YOU ARE TOO BLIND TO SEE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, THEN HE WILL RELUCTANTLY INSTITUTE PLAN B IN YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS TO WAKE YOU UP IN THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS AND TORTURE CHAMBERS OF THE TRIBULATION, WHICH, BY THE WAY, THIS EVIL GOVERNMENT OF OURS HAS BEEN RAPIDLY BUILDING AND PREPARING FOR AT LEAST A DECADE NOW.
So what is plan "B"?  This plan is so mind numbingly fierce that you will be shaking in your shoes at its awesomeness!

Plan "B" is this:

God is now poised to institute His OWN PLAN B, WHICH, SINCE THOSE ORIGINALLY INVITED TO THE WEDDING FEAST ARE TOO IGNORANT AND TOO BLIND TO SEE THE VALUE OF ATTENDING, HE WILL SEND HIS ANGELS OUT INTO THE WORLD IN ONE FRANTIC END TIME PUSH TO BRING AS MANY NEW PEOPLE WHO WILL LISTEN INTO HIS CHURCH AS IS POSSIBLE! HE ABSOLUTELY WILL HAVE A "BRIDE WHO HAS MADE HERSELF READY," BUT, THE BIBLE PREDICTS THAT MOST OF YOU JUST WON'T BE THERE!

THEREFORE, SOMETIME THIS COMING WEEK, UNLESS I GET A POSITIVE RESPONSE FROM YOU, I AM GOING TO INSTITUTE GOD'S PLAN B, AND YOU WILL BE SHUT OUT UNTIL OR UNLESS YOU REPENT.

What I mean by this is that if I don't receive word that pledges of at least $1000.00/mo. have been made, I have no choice but to make IMMEDIATE AND DRASTIC CHANGES TO HOW THIS WORK IS CONDUCTED.

Effective, then, later this week, I AM GOING TO HIT THE KILL SWITCH ON THE PRESENT RESTORATION WEBSITE AND BEGIN TO WORK ON CREATING A NEW SITE ON OUR PLAINBIBLETRUTH.COM, DOMAIN.

What????????????  Shutting down a damn web site is going to be God's Plan "B"????????????

Brethren!  Valuable God given revelations will be lost if this web site is shut down!  It will be YOUR fault if this valuable information is lost!  Wake up you morons!

Now don;t go and blame Allen for this horrendous situation. It is Jesus' fault!  It is his decision to shut down the blog!

As step #1, then, I'm going to change the current front page so that none of the links to our material are there anymore. Instead, I will put up a notice that THE SITE HAS BEEN CLOSED DOWN.

Step 2 will be to construct the new site, with an outer, public, area for the world and the preaching of the Gospel to it, and a MEMBER'S ONLY AREA THAT REQUIRES YOUR PASSWORD TO ACCESS IT.

And, ONLY TITHE PAYING MEMBERS TO THIS WORK WILL GET SUCH A PASSWORD, UNLESS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH ME ABOUT A HARDSHIP SITUATION.

GOD IS SLAMMING THE DOOR RIGHT NOW IN THE FACES OF LAODICEA! YOU HAVE BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELVES AND THERE IS NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOU.

THIS DECISION IS MADE BY JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF, IN HOPES THAT EVEN AT THIS LATE HOUR, YOU WILL REPENT AND BE SAVED SO THAT THIS WORK CAN GROW AND PROSPER.
So, Laodicea, we have reached the end and the parting of ways unless you
repent of your selfishness, blindness, and wickedness. If I do not have the pledges by early this week, THE EXISTING SITE WILL BE SHUT DOWN WITHOUT ANY FURTHER NOTICE.

And, in case you're wondering, step 1 of the shutdown means the links to the material on the site will be removed. And, step 2 will come sometime next month, WHICH WILL BE THE PERMANENT DELETION OF ALL MATERIAL ON THAT SITE TO MAKE ROOM FOR OUR NEW SITE!

And the majority of the more meaty material will only be accessible from the new member's area going forward, BECAUSE IF YOU WILL NOT WORK BESIDE ME IN THE VINEYARD, NEITHER SHALL YOU EAT SPIRITUALLY.

The ONLY WAY to avert this is if I see AT LEAST $1000.00/ MO. IN PLEDGES. And, again, YOU NEED TO INFORM ME THAT THE PLEDGE IS ON THE WAY AND THE AMOUNT THROUGH A HELPDESK TICKET.

And, for those who HAVE BEEN LOYAL OVER THE YEARS, I SAY "THANK YOU," AND YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR PASSWORD FOR THE NEW SITE AUTOMATICALLY.
You have received YOUR FINAL WARNING! WAKE UP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, BECAUSE ONCE YOU ARE ROUNDED UP AND PLACED IN THAT CONCENTRATION CAMP, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO IS DEATH IN A TORTURE CHAMBER, BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROVEN YOU WON'T REPENT IN ANY OTHER WAY!

As God says in Deut. 28: "I set before you this day life, and death, blessing, and cursing: THEREFORE CHOOSE LIFE."

While you all may be a bunch of inconsiderate, worthless slime balls who will not help the Prophet, he wants you to now he loves you:

With deep love, in Jesus' Name,

M. John Allen

The Church of God, the Gift That Keeps On Giving........
 


13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Humans are amazing. John does not need members. He needs meds. I don't believe I have ever read such a deranged rant on how the love of Jesus is going to be distributed.

I offer you safety and salvation along with a for sure you will be in the first resurrection, for $250 a month. Send it in!

I guess that makes me the McCOG alternative.

M.T. Hall

Richard said...

Wow. I mean, wow. Where do we start here??

COG'ers know there's a cause for every effect. Do you think Mr. Allen's "wrongful termination" may have something to do with his online ministry -- and Plan A?

Or could it be that maybe.... juuuuuust maybe.... he's misunderstanding God, and God doesn't want him doing a ministry at all?

caseywollberg said...

Heh, it isn't just the lay members who are weak and base. This fool can't even hold down a job when he gets one. And he also buys into those FEMA conspiracy theories. What a stupid loser. And, by the way, God, there are a lot of them these days. It seems every couple of months a new one pops up with a poorly designed website featuring idiotic rants in dire need of editing. Any god that would "work" with such cheap tools--and with such incompetent results--is deserving of ridicule, not worship.

Douglas Becker said...

AND, FRANKLY, IF YOU ARE TOO BLIND TO SEE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, THEN HE WILL RELUCTANTLY INSTITUTE PLAN B IN YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS TO WAKE YOU UP IN THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS AND TORTURE CHAMBERS OF THE TRIBULATION, WHICH, BY THE WAY, THIS EVIL GOVERNMENT OF OURS HAS BEEN RAPIDLY BUILDING AND PREPARING FOR AT LEAST A DECADE NOW.

The ministers under Herbert Armstrong in the WCG planned that when we all got to the Place of Safety, they would reinstitute the Levitical practice of stoning.

If this guy is in control, I'll take my chances with the Great Tribulation, thanks.

This "prison" mentality so powerful amongst the majority of the Armstrongist ministry and leaders is a very clear and present danger to the members and their families.

IT IS TIME FOR YOU ALL TO WAKE UP and leave Armstrongism!

Sorry... difficult to resist.

Douglas Becker said...

It seems every couple of months a new one pops up with a poorly designed website featuring idiotic rants in dire need of editing.

Well, Casey, doesn't that just prove their contention that we are in the end times? ;)

By the way, I think are wrong: It isn't every couple of months -- it's more like every couple of weeks.

But I could be wrong.

caseywollberg said...

"Well, Casey, doesn't that just prove their contention that we are in the end times? ;)"

"Prove" is a bit strong, I think.

Andrew said...

"And, ONLY TITHE PAYING MEMBERS TO THIS WORK WILL GET SUCH A PASSWORD, UNLESS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH ME ABOUT A HARDSHIP SITUATION.
...
THIS DECISION IS MADE BY JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF, IN HOPES THAT EVEN AT THIS LATE HOUR, YOU WILL REPENT AND BE SAVED SO THAT THIS WORK CAN GROW AND PROSPER."

I love this stuff. This Allen guy learned so well from Mr. Armstrong's example, and he's trying to duplicate what Mr. Armstrong did to a "T". This is from Mr. Armstrong's 1980 "epistle" to Rod Meredith:

"...I am sorry to say, that either you still cannot understand WHY the living Head of God's Church, Jesus Christ, had you sent to Hawaii..."

They always claim that their actions are the actions of God. They essentially claim to be automatons for God, never doing anything but "God's" will. Everything decision they make is a decision of God. They are just empty vessels, not human beings like the rest of us. Who made the decision? Jesus Christ? Really guys? Really? What makes them so certain that it isn't their own decision? I am pretty sure it is just them trying to pawn authority and responsibility for their own stupid decisions off onto God. I am sure that whenever they get out of bed in the morning (or in the afternoon), it isn't that they felt like getting up, but rather, that that moment was the moment that God ordained for them to get up--and start doing His will for the day!

I just cringe whenever someone says in reference to one of the COG groups, "God's" church, "God's" ministers, "God's" work, "God's" appointed, "God's" will, etc. Frankly, these guys are either certifiable schizophrenics who really do hear voices and are convinced that God is talking to them, or else they're calculating con artists. I am not sure which is worse, to be duped by someone who is sincere but also insane, or to be duped by someone who will tell you whatever just in order to get his hands on your money.

Douglas Becker said...

Perhaps we should invest in stone quarries near the Place of Safety. We would sure do a land office business after things got rolling!

Jace said...

Wow... You just can't make this shit up! He has to work a full time job? Poor guy...

My former boss, was recently divorced. She has a mortgage to pay and so rather than give up her home, she now works 4 jobs. You read that right, four jobs. One is full time, working a minimum of 40hrs a weekf - salaried, so sometimes more than that - the other 3 are part time jobs. Not only does this single woman - my age no less - completely inspire me with her drive and hard work, she always manages to have a smile on her face and something to laugh about.

But this prick is going to cry about having to work one full time job? Lame.

Vaughn said...

This guy learned from the master how to try to guilt the weak into submission. His diatribe could have been taken from Herb's fundraising letter written while his wife lay dying.

It's reproduced here for those with a strong stomach:
http://www.hwarmstrong.com/gycg/lomas_bowel_obstruction.htm

Anonymous said...

Not a problem.

Activate PLAN C again.

PLAN C: Run for the "Outer Circles."

Cost: Zero dollars.

Anonymous said...

Based on his writing style, what do you bet that this guy was fired for having a bad attitude?

Anonymous said...

It's hard for me to believe that M. John Allen believes what he's saying.
Seems to me, he just lacks morals, and is using a 'template' from HWA's rantings in trying to make money- trying to get his market share from the many disaffected ex-WCG members.

He should lower the price, though, and maybe include a spiral slicer, ala Ron Popeil.

So far, I've heard of Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.
Progressively, they're starting to sound more and more like Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Norm