Sunday, August 7, 2022

Dave Pack Goes Silent As His Prophetic No-shows Pile Up

 


Prophetic No-Show

 

Av 7 came and went without Chinese nukes landing on the White House lawn. That was Thursday to those who do not care.

 

But this might be the end times, folks. Something HUGE has occurred this weekend and it needs your immediate attention. Race to Costco to stock up on toilet paper and imported beer.

 

David C.raptacular Pack has gone silent! The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God, our resident Elijah/Not Elijah/Maybe Elijah, is a no-show at this most crucial time in God’s plan.

 

Tonight at sunset begins Av 10, also known as the “not-really-a-50-day-count to Trumpets” epic craptacular. If you want to calculate it from Jerusalem, that would be at 12:30 P.M. eastern time.

 

Yet again, I embarrassed myself publicly when I wrote on August 3rd:

 

As a non-prophet/non-psychic, I predict Dave will speak either Friday afternoon or on the Sabbath. He will not get to Monday without commenting…if he is feeling particularly defeated, he will…compose a bloated “Prophetic Update” in Member Services.

 

That son of a bitch screwed me on all counts. I will never achieve my GoFundMe goals now.

 

As of this morning, there has been dead silence inside RCG. How can this be after such a build-up in Member Services?

 

Wednesday, August 4, 2022

Dear brethren,

Please note that Mr. Pack plans to deliver a Bible Study tomorrow, Thursday, August 4 in the afternoon.

There’s a slight change to what we learned in Part 386 that will be explained in a short message tomorrow. All is well!

We will let you know once the message is available in Member Services.

Warm regards,

Church Administration

 

I laughed out loud when I read "a slight change” because I now understand RCG-speak much better in my old age.  “A slight change” is a few paragraphs to you and me. It is far more than “slight” if Dave wanted to populate the Main Hall and record it on video.

 

For perspective, if he were to shift a prophesied biblical occurrence even one day, that would be like moving the Passover “just one day” or worshiping on Sunday rather than on the Sabbath. What’s the big deal? It’s just one day…

 

When God writes something in His word, it stands. No words come back to Him void. Dave likes to remake the soup after it has been served. It is too late now, bro. And way too salty.

 

“All is well!” Baloney. That is RCG spin like putting a smiley face at the end of the “I accidentally ran over your cat” note you find on your front door. If all were truly well under the context, Jesus Christ would be here and Elijah the Prophet would be announcing God’s arrival to the world right now.

 

But instead, this happened.

 

Thursday, August 5, 2022

Dear brethren,

Please note that the Bible Study earlier scheduled to hold today has now been postponed.

Mr. Pack looks forward to sharing with you the additional items that will bring completion to the understanding we currently have coming off Part 386.

We will let you know when the new date is confirmed.

Church Administration

 

Notice the singular “a slight change” has evolved into “additional items” in less than 24 hours. Due to the complexity and transformative nature of those “additional items,” Dave is nowhere near close enough to understanding his own delusions to torture the church with it.

 

He is in quite the pickle now and is not going to “bring completion” to anything, ever. This machine cannot stop.

 

The “new date” was open-ended. During my time in Media Production Services, when a World to Come broadcast schedule kept being pushed and eventually received the “when a new date is confirmed” status, it either went for days or weeks or never.

 

How Dave must now long for the month of Tammuz. Av is so much worse for him and we are barely 10 days in.

 

It is like when you thought your ex-girlfriend was awful, but this new girlfriend is the real horror show. It gets you to thinking, "Maybe I didn't appreciate my ex as much as I should have." But your closest friends all say, "Get away from them. They are both not good for you.”

 

Dave, Av is not good for you. Tammuz was not good for you, either. In fact, you have had a string of losing months this year. Perhaps you should delete your “Hebrew Month Lover 48” account from Tinder and just reflect on you.

 

As a non-prophet/non-psychic, I am guessing that RIGHT NOW Dave has locked himself inside the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium with The Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy to compose a message for posting in Member Services before sunset today.

 

Because Dave is reading my blog and now doing the opposite of what I predict, then…um…David C. Pack will NOT give me $100k. Guaranteed.

 

If he screws me again by remaining silent until tomorrow, then I recommend you declare me a non-non-prophet/non-non-psychic. Oh wait, that would mean I’m a true one. Never mind.

 

All is well!


Marc Cebrian


See: Prophetic No-show

 

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if any of the RCG members were shocked by this latest non-development? Are they still able to perceive a basic pattern, and to extrapolate from that pattern?

Anonymous said...

CULT SPEAK TRANSLATOR

From: RCG SPEAK: “All is well!”

To: PLAIN ENGLISH: “It is a complete disaster!”

NO2HWA said...

Marc, you do realize since Dave is informed about everything that is said here about him that he will now have to have a new message to prove you are wrong.

Anonymous said...

NO2HWA at 11:55:000 AM said...“Marc, you do realize since Dave is informed about everything that is said here about him that he will now have to have a new message to prove you are wrong.”


This could be Marc's big opportunity to take control of Dave Pack's mind and psychologically manipulate him.

DW said...

What on earth is he going to do now? He has run out of time. He has run out of excuses. He has just run out of everything. Everyone could see this coming years ago, but he didn't. He has lost his kids, grandkids, other people's life savings, real estate, etc and for what?

For what? What did all of this get him? What did all of this get his followers, except dead broke, hurt and confused. So what now,
apostle Dave? In a matter of months, it will just be you and your horses. Who will help you then? You are running out of bridges to burn. Everyone tried to warn you this would happen, but no, we are just dumb agents of Satan, fake Christians. So, in the final analysis, the fake Christians were trying to help before the inevitable occurred and your "true" Christians are fleeing like rats from a sinking ship.

You are sick and need help. Please don't wait any longer. The math won't improve, neither will your prophetic abilities. It is over. Put the shovel down.

WHAT ABOUT THE TRUTH said...

This announcement can mean only two things. First, evangelist Schliefer was way off in his assessment of his leader. He just told dear Mr. Pack that he was information rich. We haven't heard a word from Mr. Pack since that declaration was known.

Second, Dave Pack finally told the truth. He said he had no more words to give.

I have a feeling it won't be long before Brad Schliefer will be correct and his silent leader will have a lot of words to give.

Anonymous said...

"Big trouble at the Wadsworth Compound. Almost empty, and echos abound the empty halls, alas, the horses are still vibrant".

Anonymous said...

I don't suppose that anyone will get any money back after sending thousands to Wadsworth will they? I know the answer but thought I would ask anyway.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 10:10:00 PM said...“I don't suppose that anyone will get any money back after sending thousands to Wadsworth will they? I know the answer but thought I would ask anyway.”


I think we all know the answer to that question, but thought I would answer anyway.

The MONEY FLOW in a cult like the Restored Cash Grab (RCG) is in only one direction: From the deceived GIVER to the deceiving GETTER.

The RCG cult is like a FINANCIAL DIODE that allows money to flow in only one direction.

Dave Pack likes people to read his RCG cult's literature online and not request hard copies of it. People requesting hard copies of Dave Pack's literature seems to send him into angry rages about people “stealing” from his RCG cult.

In the version of “COMMON” THEFT that klepto-Dave Pack-of-lies claims to have “restored,” the money does not get distributed to everyone as they have need. Rather, it all goes to Dave Pack's personal needs and wants and whims.

Anonymous said...

Actually, you are not supposed to get your money back when you trust the wrong person and make a bad investment, 10:10. The pain you endure is intended to make you wiser and more discerning.

Anonymous said...

NEW BOOKLET IDEA!!!

Your Worst “Investment”: Satanic Imposter Cults