Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Philadelphia Church of God: "We’re the hope of this world. This Noah-like work."

This is how Stephen Flurry imagines PCG members 
will soon be transported out of the United States 
 to the Place of Safety. 

It should never come as a shock to anyone even remotely familiar with the Armstrongite Church of God movement that its focus is NOT on the One they claim to follow but upon the law and other personalities they deem of great importance.

Leave it to the Philadelphia Church of God to take this to the extreme, once again. That most inconvenient dude they know nothing about is once more relegated to the rear of the room so that Noah can shine forth as the great savior of the world, as the one who led people to safety.

The Philadelphia Church of God is not known for having any great theologians who actually understand the Bible and the works of Jesus. It instead has a poorly trained group of man/boys who were trained at the feet of Gerald Flurry, who himself was so poorly trained that he based his entire movement upon Malachi's Message, a book he stole and plagiarized from Jules Dervaes, The Letter to Laodicea. The very same book that Stephen Flurry had a mystical vision about while at a PCG weekend at Robber's Cave in Oklahoma. Robber's Cave was the site of an event so sacred to the PCG that the student body of Herbert W Armstrong College make yearly pilgrimages to gaze in wonder at the very cabin  Stephen stayed in as he read Malachi's Message, thus validating his father's madness and the establishment of the Philadelphia Church of God cult.

In a letter sent to Exit and Support Network a few days ago, Stephen Flurry has given us proof once again on how theological bankrupt he really is. This time he is praising Noah and how he set the example to save the righteous. 

SF Talks About “Our Noah Like Work” and Going to the Place of Safety: 
 
September 5, 2021 
 
SF gave a Bible Study on August 20 at HQs entitled, “Our Noah Like Work” in which he compared GF’s “work” to “Noah’s work” and talked about members going to the Place of Safety. Below are some of the things he said. 


He said Joel Hilliker had a Trumpet Brief on August 18 (“Prophecy is Fulfilled in Afghanistan”) and he [Hilliker] “talked about these people desperately clinging to those cargo planes, even on the outside and he said that it brought to mind images of people clawing at the sides of Noah’s ark when God sent the flood.” [Those who read The Bible Story books in WCG will remember Basil Wolverton’s frightening cartoon depiction of that scene. 

 
“We in the church know the flood is coming.” 

 

“And in a lot of ways, the pictures of those people all sitting on the bottom of that C-17, crammed in there– that may be something that we experience ourselves at some point. We don’t know exactly what it means to be lifted away to the place of safety on the wings of a great eagle. But somehow or another, we are gonna to fly to the Place of Safety. And as Amos 7 says, we’re gonna be escorted out, or asked to leave. … There might be some government jets that are part of that massive transport operation. … 10,000 saints headed off to the Place of Safety. And then when you look at the outside of the vessel, when the people know the rain has set in and it’s not gonna stop–it’s a pretty sobering visual.” 


  

He referred to GF’s Peter booklet several times and said “We’re like the family of Noah. Hard at work during these final days of the present evil world. And soon we are going to be flying right into another world, a new world.” 
 
He referred to 9-11 as the time they [PCG] “entered into the Last Hour.” 
 
“Noah and his family were a type of this church; a type of this work that we are engaged in. A Noah like work. We are facing universal destruction.” … “God promises to save us.” 
 
“If we are supporting God’s preacher of righteousness [i.e., GF] [Noah was called a preacher of righteousness in II Peter 2:5], then God promises protection; God promises to save us.” 
 
“This present, evil world is almost over.” 
 

“When we are lifted over to the Place of Safety, that is the new world; that is the World Tomorrow.” … we are IT. We’re the hope of this world. This Noah-like work.” 
 
“Noah had to go out and build for God for a century. Then the rains came. … He had to plan ahead.” 
 
“It’s been almost a century since God opened the mind of Herbert Armstrong. And here we are–right where God prophesied.” 
 

“We’ve got to support our preacher of righteousness.” [i.e., GF] 
 
“We are here to tell this world that is about over.” 
 
He quoted from GF’s Peter booklet and said “You can look at Noah’s example and see that God saves a few. God is going to save us; He’s going to rescue us. He’s going to protect us. He promises that. We’re His children and He’s our Father. He’s going to look after us.” 
 
“God is still teaching us. The new revelation just continues. We haven’t even gotten some of the finer points or details regarding the Place of Safety and our flight and how that operation is going to be carried out. That is going to be exciting, getting some instructions in sermons from my father–‘Hey! We’ve got to be ready. God has shown me this and this and this about this verse here or this verse over there.’ Selling off our belongings. And being air-lifted out of a dangerous world.” 
 
Reading from the Peter booklet again, “Noah and his family were spared. A big benefit of doing God’s Work as He commands. Rewards always accompany obedience to God. … all the way to the end.” 
 
He read I Peter 3:19-21 “This age is about over. … God tested Noah to make sure he would wait and endure until the very end.” 
 
 
 
“Eventually, we’re going to be packing our bags–for good!” 
 
–Bible Study critiqued by Anonymous




Monday, September 6, 2021

PCG's "The Trumpet" Trumps Again: Donald Trump To Be Reinstated As President By Mutinous Military Leaders!


One thing most Americans can probably agree on, whether left or right on the political spectrum, is that the entire 20-year engagement in Afghanistan was a huge monumental failure, a waste of money with little to show for it but a 2 trillion dollar windfall for the military industry.

Nevertheless, it has ended, and while there's plenty of blame to be assigned, Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God has one of the more nutty interpretations, as usual, making wild guesses disguised as prophetic predictions in their flagship publication, The Trumpet:

You see, this ending of the war is likely going to provoke a "military uprising" by the US military against the Biden administration, leading to a military action that will reinstate Donald Trump as the rightful President, or possibly with him leading a secession of states from the union! ("President Trump could also lead some states to secede from the union. That would lead to some kind of warfare.") "How Afghanistan Could Help Donald Trump Return to the Presidency"

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, this is not a political post, as I understand that Banned is not a political blog. And Flurry can have his political views as he likes, but he goes far into crazy land when he writes things like this. And, unbelievably, he goes digging for scriptures to somehow support his wide-eyed theories [as quoted in the article]:

“Verse 28 of 2 Kings 14 strongly indicates that Mr. Trump recovers his presidency by some kind of warring—not voting,” Mr. Flurry wrote. “It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024—unless there would be some kind of war and voting combined.”

Really, if he thinks the scribal writers of 2 Kings had the slightest interest in trying to guess, or even conceive of, what would happen over 2000 years after their time, he might as well read The Hobbit and try to map events in Middle Earth to modern world events.

 

"It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024", Flurry says.

The only thing that we can say for sure is that 2024 is definitely going to come along. So we expect a full retraction from the PCG and The Trumpet if (when) no such civil war takes place and Trump is NOT the president, because their private interpretation of scripture is just nutty and wishful thinking on their part.

 

If the COG splinters would stop trying to shoehorn ancient writings to make them somehow portray whatever the current event of the day is, they would look a lot less ridiculous than they do. The writers of 2 Kings wrote in their time, about their time, and for their time, not about our time. How much clearer could 2 Kings 14:28 be? [as quoted by Flurry]:

“Now the rest of the acts of Jeroboam, and all that he did, and his might, how he warred, and how he recovered Damascus, and Hamath, which belonged to Judah, for Israel, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel?”

Are the writers not clear enough that this is what "Jeroboam ... did"? Not what Trump or any other celebrity "will do". The writers are explicitly saying that all that "Jeroboam" did, how he warred, recovered "Damascus", for "Israel", is what we wrote here and in the other chronicles. How silly do you have to be to think they're talking about Donald Trump? They clearly specified who they were talking about. Obviously, they were writing history (whether accurate or not is another issue), for purposes relating to their own time and their own issues and problems. 

But no, Flurry breathlessly insists, this verse says that Mr. Trump will recover his presidency!

I hate to break it to him, but it doesn't indicate what anybody does in the future. Read it, Gerald - notice that it's written in the *past tense*.

"Jeroboam ... warred... recovered". NOT: "[Some end-time] Jeroboam ... will war .. will recover". Past history, not future prophecy.

In WCG circles you might be able to get away with this, but people who haven't been conditioned to read past tense passages in some sort of superimposed future tense way [why, he's a TYPE of Jeroboam!], can see how ridiculous you sound, Trumpet publishers. You're not going to grow your tithe base that way, at least not in today's world.

On second thought, keep it up, as it will help those all-important tithes to shrivel up...

Submitted by...Michael

BEST FEAST EVER! ...or else



This is my least favorite Feast scripture often quoted by the ministry, and sorry to say myself a few times,  in countless sermons at the Feast over the years.  Aside from the fact that the author still anticipated plagues upon their still in use horses, mules, camels and donkeys, thus rendering it as something very far into the future ridiculous, it is an incredibly bad example on how to motivate people to attend the Feast. It's an incredibly bad example on how to motivate anyone to do anything. It's an incredibly bad example of forcing belief in what there is  understandably no belief in.  It's the consequences for not doing that motivate.  

I mean, how would you react if Islam, by the hand of Allah, rotted out the eyes and tongues of loved ones not yet into the Islamic Faith, while still alive and then we, as survivors, forced to keep Ramadan?  Would Ramadan be your "Best Ramadan Ever"?  Well aside from it being your first of many or else.  

Do we really believe the losers against Israel, now forced to go to the Feast or the God of Love will cut off their rain are going to sing "Praise ye the Lordo" with zest and feeling of gratitude?  Do we think that singing "climbing through the windows leap" will bring back good times and fond memories?  Do we really think those defeated gentiles in the future to whom this mandatory Festival attendance policy , or else , would rejoice in "Onward Christian soldiers , marching as to war. With the cross of Jesus going on before"?

This is more a formula for PTSD!  Post Theological Stress Disorder.  




Zechariah 14:

12This is the plague with which the Lord will strike all the nations that fought against Jerusalem: Their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths. 13On that day people will be stricken by the Lord with great panic. They will seize each other by the hand and attack one another. 14Judah too will fight at Jerusalem. The wealth of all the surrounding nations will be collected—great quantities of gold and silver and clothing. 15A similar plague will strike the horses and mules, the camels and donkeys, and all the animals in those camps.

16Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, and to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. 17If any of the peoples of the earth do not go up to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, they will have no rain. 18If the Egyptian people do not go up and take part, they will have no rain. The Lord b will bring on them the plague he inflicts on the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. 19This will be the punishment of Egypt and the punishment of all the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles.


Sunday, September 5, 2021

The Math is Incorrect: Prophet Bobalonia Pronounces Bullshitta on Shemitahs!

 There's been a lot of talk about Shemitahs lately...evidently. 


 

"Modern Jews claim that the period of time from sunset September 6, 2021 through sunset September 25, 2022 is a 'Shemitah year.' Some claim that this and the year that begins when this one ends (the claimed 'jubilee' is being called a 'super shemitah") and runs through 2023 may cause destruction or the Great Reset. Is this possible? Is Messianic Jew, Jonathan Cahn (of the Harbinger fame) a prophet of God as Pat Robertson has said or a false prophet? Was he right about the financial collapse of the USA in 2015? Are the Jews right about their Shemitah year being year 5982, or is 5991 closer? What about the beginning of sorrows? Dr. Thiel addresses these issues and more."

BibleNewsProphecy: 2022-2023 Shemitahs: Destruction/Reset?

Spoiler Alert
For entertainment purposes only

The Great Prophet "clearly" shows how the Great Shemitahs Destruction Reset is nothing to worry about.  They do not fit his calculations so if you were concerned about them beginning this month on the 6th, you can relax.  

And too...Someone, please send Prophet Bobalonia a New Testament for Christ's sake...and his own!



Saturday, September 4, 2021

Jon Brisby of Church of God, The Eternal On The Most Important Problem Facing The Church Today!

Jon Brisby

John Brisby, the leader of the Church of God, The Eternal has laid down the law on men with beards. Gerald Flurry was immediately disfellowshipped as a church leader because of his joke of a goatee...snark....

First impressions of this are, WTH is that on his face?

From a reader:

Here we are again visiting some of the most spiritually important problems facing the Church of God today, your beards.

Jon Brisby, when fawning over his own well-groomed beard that he wore years ago, had this to say about unkept beards. From “Just what do you mean the Faith Once Delivered?” #41 at 1:02:56 to 1:03:51 dated 8-21-2021.

“So what do I mean by well groomed? Okay, there’s beards, and then there is other beards. Again, the difference in the way you choose to wear your beard is definitely making a different statement by who you associate with. Ya know, are you trying to look like some outlaw biker? And to what extent is your choice in a beard giving that impression to people who don’t know you? Is that a Christian image? Why did you choose to have a long scraggly beard If you do? I mean again, re-assess this. First impressions do matter. Take it into consideration.”

This excerpt was just one of many in a long line of listed ways church members must look to be acceptable in their church and in the world to set a good example. 

Comment by blog owner:

The longest-running thread on this blog and the one filled with the most comments is about Jon Brisby and the Church of God, the Eternal. COGE was the brainchild of Raymond Cole. After his death Jon Brisby took the reigns and he imagines himself as the most glorious man alive. Fast cars, flashy clothing, and overblown vanity are his calling cards. He and Bob Thiel have obviously been comparing notes. Bisby is just as weird as Bob Thiel in the outrageous claims "biblical" teachings he expounds. If you thought the teachings of Bob Thiel and Dave Pack are weird, Brisby is their long-lostbrother.

Church of God, The Eternal's Jon Brisby Sinks To A New Vile Low

Jon Brisby Says There Is An Enduring Legacy of Herbert and Loma Armstrong

RCG: God Is Looking Into The Hearts of LAZY RCG Members Who Are Not Participating In The "Loose Change Challenge"

 







Does The Feast Of Tabernacles Describe The Millennium As The COG Teaches?







In Pagan Holidays – or God’s Holy Days – Which? Herbert Armstrong wrote about the symbolism of the Feast of Tabernacles: “This festival is the picture of the Millennium!” Unfortunately, when Armstrong decided that Christians were obligated to observe the festivals outlined in the Pentateuch for the Israelites, he was not careful to follow scriptural hints regarding the deeper spiritual implications/meanings of the days. Since his death, a great many folks have challenged his understandings about the symbolism involved in some of the other holy days. Even so, Armstrong’s teachings about the meaning of the FOT still enjoy widespread acceptance within the Armstrong Churches of God culture.

The problem with Mr. Armstrong’s understanding of this feast was his slavish devotion to the notion that they pictured a progression of events within God’s plans for humankind. Hence, although he recognized the significance of the spring and fall harvests relative to these festivals, he failed to integrate that understanding with other scriptures related to both the symbolic meanings of certain rituals and the events themselves. “How can that be?” his devoted followers will demand.

In the booklet referenced at the beginning of this post, Armstrong wrote: “To portray His plan, God took the yearly material harvest seasons in ancient Israel as the picture of the spiritual harvest of souls. In the Holy Land there are two annual harvests. The first is the spring grain harvest. Second comes the main harvest. Notice that the Festival of Tabernacles is to be held ‘at the year's end’ (Ex. 34:22). In this verse the Festival of Tabernacles or Booths is specifically called the ‘feast of ingathering.’ The harvest year ended at the beginning of autumn. Just as Pentecost pictures the early harvest — this church age, so the Festival of Ingatherings or Tabernacles pictures the fall harvest — the great harvest of souls in the Millennium!”

The problem with this teaching is that it doesn’t agree with what is revealed about the timing of this great harvest of souls which is elaborated on in the book of Revelation! In the twentieth chapter of that book, we read: “And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years. But the rest of the dead lived not again until the thousand years were finished. This is the first resurrection.” – Revelation 20:4-5 Notice here that the first resurrection is clearly associated with the millennium. Continuing, we read: “And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison…And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.” – Revelation 20:7-13 Hence, we can clearly see that this great harvest of souls takes place AFTER the millennium, and AFTER Satan and his minions have been dealt with once and for all!

Moreover, Herbert Armstrong completely ignored the profound symbolism surrounding this festival which is recorded in the oft quoted twenty-third chapter of Leviticus, and which is further elaborated on quite extensively in the New Testament! I know that these arguments will have zero impact on the folks who have willingly swallowed the Armstrong Kool-Aid, but it is my hope that serious students of the Bible who are willing to take a second look might be persuaded by what is clearly revealed in Scripture regarding the symbolism of this festival.

In the book of Leviticus, we read: “Remember that this seven-day festival to the Lord – the Festival of Shelters – begins on the fifteenth day of the month, after you have harvested all the produce of the land…On the first day gather branches from magnificent trees – palm fronds, boughs from leafy trees, and willows that grow by the streams…For seven days you must live outside in little shelters. All native-born Israelites must live in shelters. This will remind each new generation of Israelites that I made their ancestors live in shelters when I rescued them from the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.’” (Leviticus 23:39-43, New Living Translation –here and throughout the rest of this article, unless otherwise noted)

Scripture indicates that the Israelites were told to live in temporary shelters each year for eight days so that they would not forget that they had lived in tents after leaving Egypt and before reaching the Promised Land. In the book of Hebrews, we read: “It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to LEAVE HOME (emphasis mine here and throughout) and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, HE LIVED THERE BY FAITH – for he was like a foreigner living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.” (Hebrews 11:8-10) In short, Abraham and his descendants were looking forward to a better and more permanent home.

A little further, we read: “All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. THEY AGREED THAT THEY WERE FOREIGNERS AND NOMADS HERE ON EARTH. Obviously, people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” (Hebrews 11:13-16) Do we begin to see the connection to our own circumstances as Christians?

Like the Israelites of old, God has called us out of Egypt (this sinful society) and has led us out into the wilderness. (John 6:44) We are different and peculiar compared to the people around us. (I Peter 2:9) Like the Israelites, we are heirs of the promises made to Abraham. (Galatians 3:29) Finally, we are also like the Israelites in the sense that we too are looking for a Promised Land (the Kingdom of God). Like the patriarchs of old, we are truly strangers and pilgrims on the earth as it now exists – the one deceived and influenced by Satan the devil.

There is, however, another meaning to this symbolism that is less general and more personal. Although it is unpleasant to contemplate, each one of us has an appointment with death. (Hebrews 9:27) Somewhere in the back of our minds, all of us understand that this life that we are currently enjoying is temporary – it will not last forever (we are subject to time and chance). Paul once told the saints at Corinth, “that our physical bodies cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever.” (I Corinthians 15:50) He went on to tell them that “our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies.” (I Corinthians 15:53)

Sometime later, Paul wrote another letter to the Corinthians. He told them that the light of Christ was shining in their hearts, but he described that treasure as residing in fragile clay jars. (II Corinthians 4:7) He talked about how Christians must face many trials and perils because of their association with Jesus Christ, but that this had resulted in them having the hope of eternal life. (II Corinthians 4:8-15) He continued: “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small AND WON’T LAST VERY LONG. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (II Corinthians 4:16-18)

In other words, Paul understood that Christians are currently living in temporary shelters (human bodies), and that they are looking forward to the time when they will be living in a permanent home (spiritual bodies). In his second letter to the saints at Corinth, we read: “For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked. For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.” (II Corinthians 5:1-4, KJV)

Peter also understood this concept. In addressing the saints toward the close of his ministry, he wanted to remind them about the truths which he had previously conveyed to them. He wrote: “Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance; knowing that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me.” (II Peter 1:13-14, KJV) Peter understood that this life is not permanent, and that he was going to die. He also knew that his present body could not inherit the Kingdom of God, and that he would have to shed that body and receive a new one in the resurrection.

As strangers and pilgrims in this world, Christians are looking to exchange a temporary home for a more permanent one (one that God has provided for us). Hence, for us, this is an important component of the symbolism of this Old Testament Festival.

And, finally, perhaps the most important component of this symbolism has to do with our relationship with Christ and Almighty God – the fact that Christ tabernacled with us in the past and will do so again someday with the Father! We read in the Gospel According to John that the “Word was made flesh and dwelt <tabernacled> among us.” – John 1:14, KJV Then, at the conclusion of all things, we are told in the book of Revelation: “And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.” - Revelation 21:1-3 I don’t know about you, but I think that this symbolism beats Armstrong’s teachings on the subject by a mile!

By Lonnie Hendrix